from the ashes (she will rise) ➸ octaven

chapter 7

Lexa's door remains closed for the rest of the night. Even Indra doesn't make a comment about the usual rule. When Octavia passes her room before going to bed, she presses her ear against the wall quietly. All she can hear is the hum of the air conditioning.

She should've known she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Her body's started training itself to stay awake after she's constantly shaken from sleep from her nightmares. It's as if she's scared to fall asleep because she knows the way in which she'll wake up. So she tosses and turns until she's had enough. Frustrated, she resists slamming her door shut as she slips out into the hallway and navigates the stairway in the dark.

Something's off. She pauses. Lexa isn't on the couch like usual. There's no Jeopardy rerun on the TV. It's nearly pitch black. Octavia crinkles her nose. She doesn't like this.

The dark haired girl digs through the fridge and holds a leftover piece of pizza in her mouth, tiptoeing across the kitchen and searching for the remote. However, she nearly gasps when she turns around and there's a figure on the couch. Narrowing her eyes, she takes a step forwards. Raven?

The girl's asleep, one leg curled underneath her, her head tucked in her arms which lean on the side of the couch. Furrowing her eyebrows, Octavia hesitates for a moment before carefully moving to sit on the far end of the couch, giving Raven as much space as possible.

She curses under her breath when the figure beside her stirs. Octavia, remaining completely still, watches awkwardly as Raven comes to, rubbing her eyes and blinking a few times.

"I didn't mean to wake you up."

Raven jumps when Octavia speaks, and she quickly turns to look at the girl. Confused, she squeezes her eyes shut and turns to look around the room again. "Why aren't you in bed?" she asks, her voice scratchy.

"I could ask you the same thing," Octavia nods to the girl, motioning to her with her piece of pizza. Raven looks down and then back to Octavia, eyebrows furrowed.

She shrugs. "T'was tired."

Octavia just nods and takes a bite of her pizza, kicking her feet up on the coffee table. "Me too."

"That's odd," Raven raises an eyebrow. "You're tired and yet you're down here eating a slice of pizza."

Octavia pauses, her eyes darting downwards. "My body's tired. It's my mind that isn't," she taps the side of her head. Raven nods in understanding.

"You're preaching to the choir," the other girl sits up carefully, biting her lip as she adjusts her braced leg. Octavia notices this and raises an eyebrow.

"You good?"

"Fine," Raven grits her teeth, but replies a bit too quickly. Octavia purses her lips. She wants to say something, but she knows better. Sighing, she shoves the last of her crust in her mouth and stands up, dusting her hands off.

"M'headed upstairs," she nods softly. She makes her way around the couch, but pauses. "You coming up too?"

She sees Raven hesitate. The girl doesn't turn to look at her, instead she just shakes her head. "I can't."

"What?" Octavia takes a step back towards the girl.

"The stairs," Raven's voice is quiet, laced with embarrassment. She gestures vaguely and then lets her shoulders drop. "I can't."

Now Octavia moves to stand in front of her, her eyes darting back and forth from Raven to the staircase. "Oh," is all she can muster, the word a small whisper between them.

"It just... does this sometimes," Raven shakes her head and lifts her leg with both of her hands. Her wincing doesn't go unnoticed by Octavia, who holds her breath. "They call it 'phantom limb' or something," she explains, rambling nervously, unable to meet Octavia's eyes. "Happens to a lot of people like me." She reaches down, massaging around her ankle. "It's like... I can't feel the leg, but I can feel the pain. Does that make sense?"