I woke up to a new feeling today. I shouldn't say new because I have had this feeling often. Not everyday but often enough yup know this by heart. This feeling is not pleasant because of what comes with it. What it brings.
When I look in the mirror and through to my soul I do not match. This soul with how it feels and this body with how it looks. They do not match. They are so different.
My daily routine is now destroyed. I can't suave to look at myself. It almost hurts to do so. I stand there starring. Hating the way I look today. The lack of a binder is very present. They're so obvious, even in my baggy shirt. Everything I'm waring is baggy. Everything except my bra. It's tight to try to hide these lumps of organic milk holders and fat. It doesn't work. They still protrude out of my chest. I hate it. It's ugly. I'm ugly.
I don't know why I can't be at least somewhat normal. At very least my gender. I don't know why I can't be what they want, even if for just a day
