Tough Love

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“Dani, look at me. You have no reason to be petrified of the Cap. Sure, he's your boss and you should respect him and hold an acceptable level of fear, but you shouldn't be petrified of him. He's a good man, and although you've hit a bump in the road, he won't hurt you.”

I feel myself frown as I whisper, “What's an acceptable level of fear?”

He sighs, revealing just how much this gets to him. It's strange, but just one sigh can explain a lot. A few weeks ago, I would never have thought I'd be able to read into Eli's reactions at all, let alone interpret a sigh or a look in his eye. Since he told me that he wants to kill these guys, he's been letting his emotions show just a little bit more. He doesn't keep that awful blank mask up as much. Maybe he realizes that showing me his emotions isn't going to break me any more than I already am.

“I understand that you don't know what an acceptable level of fear is, but it still hurts me to think about that. It's not something I can explain to you or show you, you just have to feel your way through it. Just don't be petrified of the Cap. He's not going to hurt you. If he upsets you in any way and you can't talk to him about it, just bring it to me. Ok?”

I nod and whisper, “Yes sir.”

“And Ash was right, I have been miserable without you. Although, I'll never admit that to him. Just pretend you asked me to go easier on them.”

He shoots me a wink and I feel my eyes widen. He heard that? Does this man have super powers or something?

He chuckles at my expression, so I whisper, “I'll ask Ash later if you've given them a break.”

His eyes widen a little in shock that I'm playing along with the joke and then he all out laughs. It's sounds musical. I've never heard him laugh like that. Maybe it's a release of all the tension he's been building up.

“Maybe I'll rag on them just a little harder to see how that works out for him...”

My mouth tries to twitch into a smile, it's such a foreign expression for me, but I try as I say, “Maybe I tell him I told you to work them harder...”

He chuckles again and I see a twinkle in his eye. “You tell him that, please. You're going to love the expression on his face.”

I nod and he bends down slightly to whisper, “That smile looks beautiful on you. Thank you for sharing it with me.”

I try not to blush, but I'm embarrassed and taken aback. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with such a confession from him, or from anyone for that matter. That seems to be borderline flirtatious, and I don't think I'm comfortable with that. I think he reads the fear in my eyes, because he whispers, “No hidden meaning in that, I promise. I'm just happy you're trying to smile. Don't be scared of a compliment. Not every nice thing someone says has a double meaning.”

I nod, ashamed that he figured it my thoughts and that just a compliment sends me into a mini panic.

“I have to get to the team. I'll be back to check in later. If Simon drops off the stats from Bravo team's training session, I need to see them before the Cap does. Ok?”

“Yes sir.”

Before I can even blink, he's walking into the briefing room. I sigh and try to process everything that has just happened in the last hour or so. My mind is reeling and so are my emotions. I sigh again and try to focus on my work, but as I do, I hear my poppa's voice whisper, “That's my girl, Svetlyak. You can do this. This man will make you happy, you just have to give him a chance.”

I gasp and whisper in Russian, “Poppa? Why is it so difficult? Why does it have to hurt so much?”

I get no response, which I shouldn't be surprised at. He's not here; he can't really talk to me. I must actually be going insane, because I can't actually be hearing his voice. I whisper to myself, “Oh my gosh, Danica. Get a grip on yourself. You've got to hold it together.”