I rush out of Walmart without fucking bleach and into the parking lot. Seriously, I need this fucking bleach or I'm going to go crazy. I stalk the boy as he pushes a buggy towards a red 2009 Toyota Camry. Ah...this is perfect...he puts a few groceries in the trunk and shuts it. Now I make my move. As he pushes it away to one of those fucking retarded buggy things, I run towards his car and climb inside the trunk. Of course this is fucking hilarious to me. What happens next? Now I shut his trunk and wait to see if he catches me. But of course he doesn't. The car starts and I look around for the bleach in all of the seriously annoying plastic bags.
Now the car is in motion. Pretty interesting to be inside of a car's trunk while it's moving. But if I suffocate in here, it's all worth it. I'll do it for the bleach gods.
The vehicle stops and I hear the boy get out of the car. Now I'm feel like I'm about to get myself arrested, but fuck. OH well! The trunk opens and sure enough the boy is there.
"No you can't have my bleach, motherfucker. Kill yourself." He grabs the plastic bags and closes the trunk again. "Hey! Wait! Let me out asshole!" Once again the trunk opens, but this time smoke comes inside. As if it was Darth fucking Vader walking down the bridge preparing to slay some pussy. I begin coughing. "I swear if you mixed bleach and vinegar I'm going to fucking kill you if it doesn't!"
"It's the positive vibes. Either you enjoy them or kill yourself." The boy lets me out of the trunk and closes it. "Ok. What the hell are positive vibes?" I, my stupid clueless self wait for an answer. "What the fuck do you THINK positive vibes are? You're fucking retarded." Oh now you get me pissed. I grab one of the bags and the boy walks inside of his house.
"We're eating those fucking delicious tator tots for dinner." For some fucked up reason, he's letting me stay for dinner. Weird right? "Well you haven't bothered to introduce yourself, scumbag." I say taking a seat at his kitchen table. He unpacks the bags and the precious bleach is stuck onto the shelf. "Little Calvin. Or as my reptilian army calls me, Leafy." Leafy? Holy fuck that's a hot nickname. And what the hell does he mean with reptilian army? Is he like a reptile or something? This is really fucked up.
"Well Calvin, my name is Mariko. And what the absolute fuck is a reptilian army? Are you serious half lizard?" Calvin turns the oven on and laughs a little. "So Mariko? Wanna get drunk of bleach?"
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Drinking Bleach With (My Friend) Leafy #WATTYS2016
HumorIt all started when Mariko ran into Leafy at Walmart. They both were there for one and one thing only: B L E A C H What innocently started as Mariko and Leafy playing CS: GO, turned into drinking magical bleach that lead them both...
