Outcasts: The untold stories

Johnson: Reality Break

Situation: First time Matt tells about Allison.

Johnson's POV

I was just chilling in my room after school minding my own buisness when Matt flew the door open like I was expecting him, which I wasn't.

"I really shouldn't have gave you the key to my house." I said in a sigh and sat up.

"You know this is like my second house, I need a key." He sat infront of me on the edge of my bed. Same position as when we kissed a few years earlier. Not that he remembered. Not that I could ever forget. "Besides, I'm not bothering you, right?"

"You could never bother me." I said in a sappy voice.

"Good because I gotta tell you something!" He said excitedly. By the look on his face I could tell it wasn't anything bad he had to tell me.

"Are you finally coming out?" I joked but I wish it was true. I hated myself for even thinking that.

"Ha-ha, funny. I have to disappoint you, the answer is no." A disappointment it was. He took a breath as if he was about to say the longest sentence. "I met a girl."

Now you would expect my facial expression to change or to feel hurt but it didn't. "We both know it isn't the first girl you met."

"No you don't understand. She isn't interested in me!" He said even more excited than before.

Now my facial expression did change in a confusing one. "That's great bro?" I tried to figure out why he was so happy about it. I only found one theory. "So you like her because she doesn't like you?"

"I don't know. It's just she looks so interesting, not in me that's obvious. I just want to know her. Find out what's so interesting about her."

Not going to lie it hurted a bit when he explained how he was interested in someone else. But I had to put my feelings away for a moment and be a good friend instead of being jealous.

"How are you going to find out who she is if she dislikes you?" I asked.

"We made a deal."

"Okay you seriously need to stop being so vage and tell me more details, I mean who is she anyways?"

"Allison," He said it like he was already drifted away by only the thought of her. "she's in her history class, she's the person I have to do that project with. Have you seen her? She's so gorgeous!" He talked further but I didn't hear much of it. As soon as he said that she was the girl he had to do the project with I remembered her face. She was indeed a gorgeous girl and seemed nice but a bit average. I understood why Matt found her interesting, not only because of her looks but she did seem like there was something about her. I couldn't tell what though so I hoped Matt would find out for me but I also didn't. I didn't want Matt to spend his time falling in love and breaking his heart again. And maybe I was a little bit jealous.

"Johnson, are you still there?" He waved his hand before my face. I nodded quickly. "Did you hear my question?"

"No, I'm sorry. What was it?"

"If you know her?"

"I do, she seems nice." I paused. "So what's your plan? To just hook up with her or make her fall for you so you can break her heart?"

He gave me a look. "Dude, I'm not Gilinsky. Where is he anyways?"

"With some girl he said, probably getting laid but let's get back to you. What's your plan?"

"Just getting to know her I guess."

I glared at him. I knew what he really wanted and I wasn't going to hold back my thoughts. "You and Gilinsky are so alike, you just want to get laid."

"No seriously I don't!" He defended himself. "I don't want to hook up with a girl who isn't interested in me."

"That's why you're gonna make her interested in you."

"Exactly." A short silence fell. "I wouldn't mind to hook up with her though." He smirked.

"You officially hang out way too much with Gilinsky," I said while throwing a pillow at him. He laughed knowing I didn't mean it.

"How come you don't hook up anymore that often?"

"Spending less time with Gilinsky?"

"I'm serious."

"I don't know, not in the mood I guess."

Now it was Matt who glared at me. "Not in the mood?" He quoted. "Johnson, you are a seventeen year old guy, you are always in the mood."

I let out a forced chuckle. The truth was that I was sick of sleeping with girls to hide myself in the closet. I thought it wouldn't be so obvious but I guess it was to Matt. But on the bright side I found out he keeps an eye on who I hook up with. I knew he wasn't interested in me, I knew that for two years at that moment, but those little things always gave me a glance of hope that one day things between us would be like I wanted them to be. But then I remember that Matt is straight and I'm as straight as a cooked spaghetti.

"Do you really like Allison?" I changed the subject back. "I mean can you imagine yourself liking her the way you liked Malia?"

And then Matt did that thing with his eyes again everytime Malia got mentioned. He looked at me, then down and then up to me again with a different look in his eyes. Sadness. It used to be worse but he got over her. He always used to say he was over during sophomore year but he wasn't, Gilinsky and I knew that. He hooked up with so many different girls to make himself think he was over her but eventually he slowed down with it and now I can actually believe him when he says he's over her. I never want to see him being so heartbroken over a girl again, it was horrible to look at and hard to deal with for not only him but also for Jack and I. I can't complain thought, I choosed to be Matt's friend and as friend I have to be there for him during whatever phase he's in.

"I think so yes," he answered. "anything can happen."

"Just promise me that you don't get yourself heartbroken again."

"I promise." He sounded unsure. "You'll find yourself someone too one day, Johnson." I already found someone, you are so blind that you can't see it's you. "You're a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to be with you." Girl? Haha.

"Thanks bro." Calling your crush bro will forever be weird even after two years. And accidentally touching your crush will stay weird. And supporting your crush to get into a relationship will stay weird. But all those things aren't weird if your crush was just a friend and that was what Matt was to me. A friend. I might have been in love with him but that didn't change the way I was going to treat him. You want your friends to be happy even if the things they do or the choices they decide to choose make you unhappy.

-
And to continue the story I saw my best friend falling head over heels with someone else. It hurted but I never even thought of hating her. She was so nice, so lovely to talk with and was indeed as interesting as we thought she was. I could see what he saw in her and I obviously could see what she saw in him. They deserved each other. They really did. I was happy for him, I was happy for her but I was unhappy for me. Could be a pathetic thing to feel bad for myself most of the time but I couldn't help being a eccedentesiast.

I'm happy he found his happiness, I just wish it was me who he found in the way he found her but it's time for a reality break.