Outcasts: The untold stories

Matt: Serendipity P3

Johnson's POV:

Matt and I left Malia's party that one night early. Matt was upset and as the good friend I was I was going to keep him company, get him and myself drunk and let him complain about everything what was on his mind. So a while after we got to my place I got him drunk. Not only him but also myself but I wasn't as drunk as Matt was. Luckily for me no one besides Matt and I were home. Matt seemed not to know what he was saying, he had repeated some things over and over, all I did was listen, nod and agree with him.

"You know, I don't even care!" It was about the fifth time he said that. "It isn't like we're dating or anything. She just kissed me whenever she felt like it!"

"You kissed her back though." I told him calmly.

"Yea because I thought she was into me! Now that I know she can replace me in less than five minutes, why can't I?"

"You sort of already did." I was his replacement. He may not have realized it that night. Or that moment because he totally ignored what I said.

"Who would've think two months ago that the of us would be sitting here?" I shrugged. "I mean, we're pretty good friends and we don't even know each other for that long." Friends. I know I should be happy to hear that I'm friend-called worthy but trust me, if you want to be more than friends with someone the word friends is the worst thing to hear come out their mouth.

"Yea true." I first wanted to stop there but I was wondering where the conversation would go if I kept talking. "The only person who sticked with me longer than a year is Gilinsky. I wonder what he's doing right now."

"Maybe making out with some girl. Wouldn't even blame him if it was with Malia." And we're back to Malia.

"She was you first kiss, wasn't she?" I didn't think one second about what I was saying but I didn't regret it. Matt would forget about it in the morning anyways.

"She was. But I wasn't her first. Or second or third or fourth or fifth."

"Does it matter?"

"No but it does matter if it meant something to her. If I meant something to her. I was done with all the emo talk so I just nodded and pretended I understood his feelings but I didn't. It took a long cold silence until Matt spoke up again. "What was your first impression of me?"

I was surprised he asked because it had nothing to do with the subject. "What kind answer do you want?"

"Are there different answers?"

"Well, there's a drunk answer and a normal answer. Drunk answers are honest and normal answers can be lies."

"You are drunk right? At least a bit."

"Yea."

"Then you have no choice." He smirked and leaned to the back of the bed waiting for his answer.

I chuckled. I wanted to answer honestly but that would mean I had to tell him I was somehow attracted to him the first time we started talking and that wasn't going to happen. So I decided to tell him something else that was honest. "I thought you were someone who lives his life watching other people from the sideline."

"Really? I thought the exact same thing about you!" First I thought he was being sarcastic but he wasn't. "We're such outsiders."

"I am, you aren't. You're the one who hangs, or hanged, out with Malia and her clique. And I don't like the word outsiders."

"I think my 15 minutes of fame are over after tonight." He sighed. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I was the one who didn't want Malia to be the subject of our conversation but I was also the one who brought her back in it. And again I said nothing, nodded and waited for Matt to start talking again. "What about Outcasts?"

"What?"

"Does it sound better than outsiders?"

"It actually is. Way better."

Another silence fell. I looked down but I felt Matt's eyes on me. I knew that when I was gonna make eyecontact with him that something strange would happen. You could know it by the tension in the room. I was curious about what that strange thing was so eventually I looked up at him.

"You've never kissed someone, have you?" He asked me.

I shaked my head. I wasn't sure why because I had kissed a girl before (not that it meant something). Maybe the alcohol was going to my head or maybe I wanted Matt to feel sorry for me or maybe I wanted Matt to feel me. Okay, the alcohol was definitly going to my head but I couldn't stop it just like how I couldn't stop the thing that happened after I lied.

"How come?"

"Never liked someone that way I guess."

"Do you like someone that way now?"

A part of me wanted to say no and the other part wanted to say yes. I didn't know which one to choose so I said: "You tell me."

And that moment everything in my life changed because Matt kissed me. I know the alcohol was going to my head but I'm sure it happened because nothing ever felt so real in my life before. It wasn't even the kind of kiss he had regret from the moment he did it, you would know because if he did he would've pulled away in the first second but the kiss lasted for seven and a half seconds (Yes, I remember how I long it was) and it was passionated, not rushed and almost made me forget he liked someone else. Some other girl. Not a boy, like me. He did seem to forget that for those seven and a half seconds.

"Can we promise something to each other?" He asked me calmly after he pulled away and I nodded. I expected him to ask me to promise to never talk about what happened but instead he said: "If we don't have a date on senior prom we're going to be each others date. Promise?"

It was the most random thing you could possibly ask someone to promise you after you kissed them for the first time so I said: "That's ridiculous and I'm totally promising you that."

He smiled. He looked happy but he was drunk. All his emotions and actions and words were also twisted, he didn't mean any of them. After only a short ten minutes after our kiss he fell asleep. I didn't. I was wide awake realizing that my first kiss didn't mean anything because two reasons: 1. I didn't like the person I kissed that way. 2. It was with a girl.
That night I accepted the fact that I don't like kissing girls at all and that Matt was the only one who I wanted to kiss. If only the feeling was mutual. I knew Matt was only going to like kissing girls and only them. Only Malia.

I can't remember falling asleep but I can remember waking up. Matt was awake so I asked him smoothly if he remembered anything from the night before and he said he only remembered walking in and after that everything was like a black hole. He asked if something happened after leaving the party and I told him nothing happened.
I was glad he didn't remember anything because I know he would regret the most important thing what happened in my life.