The Spaces In Between

[51] The One With The Girl Talk

This is.. really happening, right?

I couldn't stand the silence anymore (and also naiihi na ako) so I spoke up.

"Andreau.. We're both tired and sleep deprived. I know na ayaw mong matatapos ang araw natin na magkagalit tayo pero I think.. I think we need to spend some time off from each other. To.. to.. think about the things we've said to each other," I paused, taking a deep breath. "They're quite heavy to take in so.. ayun. May buong Holy Week tayo para pag-isipan lahat ng 'to."

He blinked a few times then turned to me, lips curling up at the corners. Shit, he's okay. Somehow. That's a good sign. "But.. I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Kung anumang mangyari after nating mag-isip next week.. I'll always be your friend. My feelings for you won't change."

Nagsalita lang siya noong malapit na ako sa front door. "My feelings won't change either, Zades."

Muntik na akong himatayin sa labas ng pinto niya after that.

"Hmm," Ms. Marisse let out a noncommital sound after I told her what happened earlier. "Then the next thing happened was me seeing you so pale outside my front door, am I right?"

I nodded sheepishly. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit umakyat pa ako rito kina Ms. Marisse. Sa dorm na dapat ako pupunta kaso ang dami kong feelings at kailangan kong ilabas 'yon. Baka magwala ako mamaya sa kwarto eh. "Sorry po kung naabala ko kayo, Ms. Marisse. Masyado lang akong naloka sa mga ganap kanina."

"Ano ka ba, Zades! Wala 'yon! You know me, I live for this kind of stuff," she chuckled. "So.. bothered ka pa rin doon sa tingin niya sa 'yo?"

"Yeah. Ewan ko kung bakit. Maybe mali lang ako ng pagkakainterpret sa tingin na 'yon. As if I scared the shit out of him."

Shaking her head, Ms. Marisse laughed. "Oh goodness. You have no idea, Zades."

"Huh?"

"You did scare him, Zades. Ay no, scared's too weak to describe him. You terrified him."

Ugh. Not that word again! "Bakit ba laging terrified? Masyado namang heavy 'yon! Ilang beses na rin niyang sinabi sa 'kin yan. Akala ko nagpapa-impress lang siya sa alam niyang synonyms."

"Totoo naman kasi, Zades. Terrified's the right word. Andreau can be OA at times pero I agree on this one."

"But.. why? What did I do?"

She suddenly turned serious. "Better if you ask him personally. It's not my story to tell anyway." A pause, then, "In my point of view ha. If you could only see the way he looks at you everytime, Zades. It's like he sees the sun for the first time. Naku, sasabihin ni Andreau na OA 'to pero Mars will agree with me on this one."

"Really?" I let out a nervous laugh. "If that's the case then I could blind him? You know, kapag tumingin ka sa sun direc--"

"Silly girl! Ang ibig sabihin ko lang do'n.. Na you lightened up his world. Yeah I know, it's so corny. Pero kung nakilala mo lang si Andreau dati pa.. I think mag-aagree ka rin sa 'kin."

"So you're saying he's in the dark before I came into his life?" I joked.

"Super."

Okay, I wasn't expecting that.

"Andreau's a quiet child," Ms. Marisse continued with a small smile. "Observant, serious. Parang hindi nga siya naging bata eh. Thank God he has Roldan and Ninna at nabalance nila ang childhood ni Andreau. Ni hindi nga kami close nung bata yan. Sina Ate lang talaga ang kinakausap niya before. I'd tried everything just to be the cool aunt for him pero nah, wala lang sa kanya. Then the.. accident happened.