Chapter 33- The Box

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Jeff's P.O.V.

I shoveled one last pile of dirt. There was now a large hole in our backyard. Iris was holding the box in her arms, shaky legs holding her weight up. Her grief stricken eyes told a hundred stories.

Hoody was pretty good with woodwork, and made the box with ease. The hardest part for him didn't involve cutting wood at all.

It was measuring the body.

Everyone was with us, standing in a circle around the small hole. Everyone exchanged glances but no one knew what exactly to say, especially to Iris.

I put the shovel down and reached out for the box. Iris hugged the box in her arms one last time. She looked as if she didn't want to let it go, her arms hesitating release their grip.

After a few minutes of hugging the box, she handed it to me. I hugged the box, as well.

"I wish we could've talked at least once. I love you, son." I whispered as I lightly placed the box in the hole. Iris was weeping, with Karen comforting her. Even BEN looked on the box with pity.

We all stared at the box in the hole for a little while. I looked at the shovel, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bring myself to bury the box.

"Would you like me to do it?" asked Masky. "... No parent should have to do shit like this, man." he comforted.

I looked up and nodded, handing the shovel off to him. He began to shovel dirt onto the six foot deep hole.  Iris screamed and reached forward as Masky began to bury it, wanting so badly to hold our baby boy.

After she stopped screaming, Iris pressed her face into my chest and remained there for a long time. She couldn't look anywhere else.

"... Anyone want to say anything?" I suggested, stroking my girlfriend's arm.

"I... I do." Iris whispered.

"Alright, Iris." Iris stood up and looked at the dirt covered hole.

"I'm sorry that you never got to meet me and your father. The three of us would've been very happy together. It's horrible that you will never get a childhood, or any real memories. What happened to you was unfair and cruel. We would've been the happiest family in the whole wide world. I just wanted to hear your giggles... See you grow and mature... Now I won't get too... This is your mama... And I want you to know that even though I didn't even get to see your eyes open... I already loved you."

Almost instantaneously, she began crying again. I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could. We all sat there until Iris left my arms and dashed into out house, returning with a teddy bear. She placed the it down on the covered hole and stood up.

"You can all leave now... I want to be alone with my son..." Iris whispered softly without looking at anyone. Everyone stared at her for a minute. "I said leave!" she screamed.

Everyone walked away with haste except for me. I stood there with my hand on her shoulder.

"Being upset isn't what he would've wanted." I whispered.

"He wasn't even a day old. He wouldn't know what he wanted. He would only know I was his mom..." She stayed silent after that. I wasn't going to leave her. Especially not when she needed me like she did right now.

I picked her up and sat down, letting her lay on my lap. "Iris, I understand you're in pain. I'm in pain, as well. Remember, he was my son, too." I ran my hand through her hair.

"We will make it, Iris. I won't let you fall."

"I already fell, Jeff."

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