you know that feeling you get when you know youve failed someone? like, youve disappointed them so much that theyll never get over it? that theyll hate you forever and that youll never get the chance to make things right with them? because thats how im feeling rn.
i just wanted a friend. a best friend. a sister, perhaps. to be there for me when nobody was. to tell me im perfect when i felt like i was everything but. i just wanted her. and i thought she wanted me. but guess what? im almost 100% wrong about anything and everything.
she left me for people who she was complaining about two weeks ago. she left me for people who ignored her, who carried on without her when she needed help. even though, i was there by her side through it all.
now im here, stuck with myself. myself and someone i think is annoying, a class who hates me, a school who wants me to leave, and a family who knows how broken i am, but doesnt want to help me at all anymore.
i honestly should be asleep. its 3am and im here alone with nothing to do but think. think of the sad reality im living in where best friends stab me in the back, where people are the most annoying things ever, where i will never get to meet the only people that bring me true happiness and make me overflow with sunshine.
im gonna try to sleep, hopefully ill succeed this time. adios : ))
