what hurts the most

CHAPTER 5.

The start of 5th grade came without warning. As per usual, I lazily went to third floor of our building to find my homeroom. Before I could read the posted names, my attention was caught by an old classmate screaming her lungs out.

"Oy, Duday! Dito ka sa St. John!" As if I wasn't in the mood earlier, I excitedly ran towards her. Before we could even start chatting about our summer vacation, my eyes immediately found Ran inside the same homeroom as mine. He was with his own group of friends chatting away.

As if it wasn't enough that I saw him first, my new group of friends were seated right beside his group of friends. So when I went to find myself a seat near my friends, I wasn't able to escape his presence.

"Meron na naman siya." I heard him say as soon as I sat. It felt as if he was implying that he's done being in the same homeroom as me. But now that I think about it, he was just probably trying to be funny.

"Paki mo?" I answered without meeting his eyes. My heart was about to take a leap out of my chest.

"Ay wow, ang suplada." He said while laughing. I dismissed him and tried my best to ignore him the whole day. It was awkward, and painful to ignore my once close friend.

Remembering this tiny detail is sending my present(2020) self into a crying a session. This part of the story is almost unimportant, if we are to follow rules and tips on story writing. But this memory... I miss my best friend, and all the banters, and the moments of him subtly taking care of me. His laugh. His smile.

Looking back now, it wasn't our 4th grade teacher's fault that we started to become distant. Seating arrangements didn't have a role to play on that. It was our fault. We both stopped trying.