May Death Never Stop You (Completed)

Chapter 4

"I'll fail and lose this fight, but never fade in the dark. Just remember you will always burn as bright." -The Light Behind Your Eyes, Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance.
             "The world is ugly, but you're beautiful to me. Well are you thinking of me now, like I'm thinking of you? I would say I'm sorry, though I really need to go. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you every night, every day." -The World Is Ugly, Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance.

As the morning went on the flood of texts from my NJ friends was INSANE! They were ALL VERY happy and jealous of me and Gerard. The social media presence I was receiving from the fans and fangirl alike was ASTONISHING too! EVERYONE seemed to want to know about me and Gerard except for one girl. I got an ENORMOUS wall of HATE coming from Megan, the girl Gerard broke up with last week. Apparently she hadn't heard him right or had misunderstood him, because she still thought they were dating. She somehow found the hand stormed up to it ringing the doorbell. Gerard knew it would be her, so he dragged her outside to have the fight there. She told him to basically go to hell, to which he said, "Megan, we all go to hell. Megan, we're all gonna die. Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry. Megan we all go to hell. And when I go don't blame me, I'll let this fire just bathe me, yeah. You made me oh so rageous (rage induced). I'll gladly let you go. And you cannot return to me my love. You're not my love, and I think we're all meant for the flies. Oh look, right now they're building a coffin your size, Megan we're all gonna die. PLEASE DON'T EVER COME BACK! SO LONG AND GOODBYE, SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT!" Then she left and we never heard from her again. The next month I graduated high school, and Gerard had asked me where I was going to college. I said that as of right now I wasn't because I hadn't quite decided and worked that stuff out back in NJ, and now I hadn't even thought about it once. On my graduation day though, I had worn this one long white dress that Gerard had helped me pick out at this old antique mall in town. He said I would look AMAZING in it, and on the day I wore it apparently I DID! He spent like a WHOLE hour telling me how great I looked and all, and it was nice but also a little bit excessive. Aunt Helena said, "I know they aren't here. But I am, so is Gerard. You look GORGEOUS and I just know you will go on to do great things after high school." I said, "Thanks mom." before I hugged her and then went to take my place in line to graduate. We had a party that night with all my closest friends like MCR, and Kat, and Natalie and Laura. It was a really nice party, and MCR even played a few songs for us. It was really special. And at some point the band started to play a song without Gerard. Frank and Mikey started singing a slow song as the band played. Gerard then walked up to me and took my hand and we slow danced as time seemed to stop. We stood there holding each other close and just taking in all of the moment. As the song came to its climax, he pulled me in and kissed me for what seemed like forever.

A month after that the band played a show that was pretty big. I'm not sure if I was drunk afterwards or not, but Gerard sure was. So afterwards I brought him to my house because I didn't want him to get injured somehow. Aunt Helena was already asleep when we got back, but I still made sure Gerard kept quiet. He wasn't drunk enough to like be unsafe, but he was still drunk enough for this to happen. So what happened was after we got back I took him upstairs to get him showered and all. And after he'd showered he somehow ended up in my bed with me. I remember when I woke up he was holding me in his army softly. I tilted my head up to see him and he yawned before looking back down at me and softly saying, "Good morning. I should probably get up and head out soon so that I don't make Aunt Helena suspicious or anything yknow." I nodded and we both got dressed before I went to check and see if she was still asleep. She was, so I quietly made Gerard breakfast and served it to him before he left to go back home. When Aunt Helena got up and walked downstairs she didn't say a word to me at all about last night. I didn't say anything either. A few weeks later I found out the news, and Kat was the 1st and only person I told. The day I told her, the band had played an afternoon/early evening show and was getting back around 7:00. Gerard was driving and then crash. They'd all taken separate cars, so his was the only one to crash. I got the call from the hospital 3 1/2 hours after 7, and the news wasn't great. They told me that he was probably okay, but his legs were going and might not make it. He was going in and out of sleep, not coma just sleep, and his vitals kept fluctuating drastically. They asked me to come to the hospital and see him. I brought Kat and Mikey with me. They'd said family and close friends, super close friends, only for now, so that's why Mikey and I came. I only bought Kat for moral support. On our drive over she asked me when and how I was gonna tell Gerard, and if I'd told Aunt Helena. I said I didn't know, and that I might tell him tonight. Plus I hadn't told Aunt Helena yet. When we got there Mikey and I rushed to his room to see him. He was still asleep, and he looked so peaceful even though he could have been dying and we wouldn't have known. After about an hour of getting the details of everything, he woke up. He talked with Mikey for a bit, and I heard parts of their muffled conversation. Mikey, "So are you gonna...?" Gerard, "How can I?..." Mikey, "I don't know, does she even know?..." Gerard, "No. And now if I don't make it she might never know..." I only heard that much, but it was enough to get me confused and worried. I wanted to know what they'd been talking about, but I just couldn't find out. After an hour or so Mikey left to go tell the others and call Mr. and Mrs. Way. Gerard turned to me and said, "This is kinda informal. And I don't wanna have you feeling tied down if you don't wanna, but... Nurse! Can you please hand me my pants from the bathroom?..." He was wearing one of those hospital gowns, so his clothes were folded in the bathroom lying on the sink. He then pulled something out of his pant pocket and said, "I've been meaning to ask you since the day you told me you were 19, but I never found the right time. I was actually headed to your house to ask you tonight, after the show obviously, but then I got hit by some drunk idiot. I'm so sorry." I said, Don't be Gerard. It's not your fault." And then he opened the box to which I said, "Yes! But do you mind if I wear it on my right hand just in case yknow?" He said, "No I do not. I think that's probably smart considering we don't know if I'll really make it or not." Then we kissed before he went back to sleep and I left to go back home with Kat. On the drive back she asked me about the ring, and if I'd told him. I said, "He was gonna ask me at my house before he got hit, and no. I didn't and don't know how." She nodded and then we were at her house so she got out and I waved goodbye before backing out and heading home. When I got home Aunt Helena pulled me into a tight hug saying how sorry she was for me and how much she wished it hadn't had to be me. I hugged back saying, "Well. It was. But guess what?..." I showed her the ring and she was ecstatic. I said, "Before he got hit he was driving over here to ask me, but it wasn't supposed to be a formal deadest thing or anything yknow. It was just supposed to be a 'I'm asking now to always keep it in mind, but whenever you wanna really do it we will' yknow. But now it's more important than ever yknow." She hugged me again before I walked upstairs to go to bed. Lately I'd been really tired and I think you can guess why. Aunt Helena just chalked it up to worry, which made things easier. The next week I went to visit him, and when he woke up he felt bad about some things so he got them cleared away. He said that he had been hit yes, but that he too wasn't even looking. He was looking down at my ring in the box just before he was hit. At this I started yelling at him about how stupid could he have been. He knew good and well any kind of distracted driving was not something I ever remotely allowed, and he knew good and well why. We had this huge fight that tore both of us a lot, and it tired us both out so much. This was in the afternoon, and after it I left to go get a few things. Kat asked me if I'd told him yet now, and I explained why I hadn't. I felt so bad though that I went home and told Aunt Helena my news. She said that honestly, she wasn't surprised and that she was VERY happy for us. She also said that she'd do whatever it would take to help us raise a child and get Gerard out of the hospital. I smiled and hugged her before running to pack a bag and then leave for the hospital. They let me stay the night, so I pulled a chair up next to Gerard's bed with a blanket and pillow and I slept next to him holding his hand the whole night.

The next morning he didn't wake up till almost noon, but after he'd eaten his "breakfast", I said, "Hey Gerard Sweetie?" He said, "Yeah." kinda shaky. I said, "Well a little more than a month ago, remember, we did something pretty crazy." He said, "I think. Was that after that show where I stayed over because I was kinda drunk?" I smiled and said, "Yes Sweetie, it was. But what I'm getting at was that we didn't really think through things much yknow." He said, "What do you mean?" I said, "Well what if you don't make it out of here. I don't know if I can handle or do any of this without you...." I started crying and trailing off into a tangent about how I wouldn't be able to take it without him. He was very confused and when I stopped talking about it he was even more so. I stayed that night too because I couldn't be away from him. And I wanted our child to spend as much time with him as possible no matter what. The next morning he woke up kinda early and asked, "So Allie. About yesterday. You started to tell me something, but you went off on a tangent and then broke down in tears. What's wrong? Is everything okay?" I stammered, "N-No I-It's N-Not. I found out last week, the exact day you proposed and also ended up here. We hadn't been too smart, and now if you don't make it I'll have to live with our child forever, knowing that it's your kid and that you weren't there to help raise it. I'll be forced to look at that face that'll probably be almost 100% yours and try not to cry. Like I'm trying to do now. But I'm not doing so hot there." Then I started crying again. He took my hand and said, "So let me get this straight. We're expecting a child? Man, that's AMAZINGLY! Besides you saying yes, that's the BEST NEWS EVER!!!" I said, "Why? If you don't make it it's the WORST NEWS!!!" He said, "But I WILL make it. Now that I know this child exists I am more motivated than ever to try and recover as fast and well as I can so that I can get out of here and be with you and be there when we have it. Also so that I can be there to raise my child with my one true and only love in the infinite multiverse! I promise, to and for you, and to and for this baby..." He placed his hand over where he assumed the baby was, "... That I WILL be out sooner than expected and that I WILL be there and ready and healthy for when it's time. Also that I will be there to raise them with you and that I will provide as much as I possibly can for you two. If I have to take up another job besides the band, or even another 5 jobs just to help raise our family I WILL. I won't just sit around and be lazy, no. I WILL be proactive and DO something to support you guys NO MATTER WHAT! I SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!" Then he kissed me before the nurse brought in his breakfast.

As he ate his breakfast, he asked me about what I had planned for college. I told him I would wait a year and try and see if art school could be an option. I wanted a year off with my child to work things out before I started school. He seemed happy and okay with that choice, and he was glad he'd get a WHOLE year with me and our child. I was happy for that too. In 2 months, his legs got a lot better. He still couldn't stand up straight for too long, but he was making great strides. One day we got him into a wheelchair and walked him over to the checkup. He sat there next to me holding my hand the whole time. He was so excited when he got to see his child for the 1st time. I was too. And then the nurse told us the news that we were having a boy. Gerard's face lit up so much which only caused mine to light up as well. He just seemed so happy. But quickly after this things started to not be so great again.