The real Red Riding Hood and other fairy tales

Rapunzel

Chapter 1

A disgusting pile of Rubbish.

 Once upon a time there lived a very poor couple. They lived in  a little ramshackle home that rested upon the boundary wall of the local Dignitory . She very rarely seen, only on market days when appearing in the town square to purchase her essentials followed by her entourage of exhausted looking servant boys. In her own way she was quite attractive but always had a face on her like a busted boot. The towns folk would always whisper and gossip behind her back which really got her goat, she would snarl and hiss at them as she passed by. Some say she had aspirations to be a pantomime villian.

It was rumoured she had magical powers ,anyone that crossed her was turned to stone and would spend their lives as an ornament in her garden ( or was that someone else?) The truth of the matter was that , Duchessa Angelicus Lovicus of Italian Royal descent ( supposidly ), was in the same club as Oakey's Jim Petto, she was infertile and couldn't conceive This probably accounted forthe servants looking so worn out. It also answers why very few men get out of her home quickly after being called to fix the boiler and such like.

Back to our couple. By sheer coincidence they were expecting their first child and Papa decided their little hut needed extending. he spent the next few months building an upstairs which would house their bedroom and the nursery. The kind local folk had donated all their un wanted materials to them which he managed to cobble together producing a rather eclectic but usable second floor extension . The worry Papa had was that the height exceeded the top of the Duchessa's wall. He knew if she saw it she would give him aggro. Sure enough one afternoon when walking in her grounds she spied the extention.

" What's that disgusting pile of rubbish poking over the top of my wall" she ranted

" Oh it's nothing my lady " said the kind servant boy who was accompanying her.

" Nothing , looks like a friggin rubbish pile to me , have they situated a dump next to my wall "

" Well no my lady it is the poor couples new nursery extention to their home, Mama is expecting her baby any day now "

" Is she now " grunted the Duchessa, in her mind she was formulating a mother of a plan. " Get my carriage at once "  she yelled

A two minute trot found the Duchessa out side the ramshackle home. She hammered on the door

" Are you two plebs in " she shouted.

A nervous and humble looking Papa answered the door, Mama cowered behind him.

" Now then what;s all this crap against my wall "

" Our home " Papa quivered

" Do you know you have contravened Section 36, subsection F, paragraph X of the building regulations "

" No maam I did not "

" Well you have and what's more, against my ruddy wall " she boomed " This carries a 2 thousand groat fine " she knew full well there was no such section or fine but poor Papa didn't..

" F.f.f.f ....ine " Papa stuttered , " I can't afford that "

" No, I don't suppose you can " she smirked " Well how are you going to resolve your situation.Tell you what...as I am a reeasonable and fair person, I understand your wife is due to give birth imminantly, if your baby is a girl I'll take and raise her as mine and we'll forget the fine "

" Nooooooo"wailed Mama

" Fine- baby,- baby , - fine, - jail, the choice is yours "

Mama wept, Papa wept,  but deep inside they knew they had no other choice.