You Are Forever Mine

Goodbye?

They say that once you find your true love you will know. You will have a feeling in the pit of your stomach that just somehow tells you that that one person is your love. Your life. Your forever.

When you find that person you dedicate your entire being to them. You never let them go. Your entire life revolves around them. You give them your heart. Your body. Your soul. All of you. You believe that this is enough to make them stay.

But sometimes you think you find that one true love, but you didn't. They pretend to love you. They treat you like you're their world, but you're not. You're just a toy that they played with and eventually got bored of. Then, once they are done with you, they walk out of your life like you are nothing. Like them leaving doesn't hurt you at all.

Little do they know that you are falling apart more and more each and every day. When you wake up to an empty bed. When you go throughout your daily routine without them. When you accidentally make food for two instead of one. When you go to bed at night and wish that you are just having one messed up nightmare and you'll wake up to their perfect face right by yours.

But this is reality and they won't come back. They will never love you again. And it breaks your heart more knowing that you will never have them again.

This is the point I'm at. My one true love walked out on me like I was nothing. After three years of being with me, he left me.

This is the story of the day I lost everything. My heart. My life. My love.

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I was sitting outside on a bench in my garden that I planted about a year ago. I was surrounded by bluebells and white roses. This was my favorite part of the garden because it reminded me of the love of my life, Alois Trancy. I'm quite proud of how well the garden turned out considering I can't usually do anything by myself, but I planted all these flowers on my own. No help. Not even from Alois. I planted the garden as an anniversary present for him. He loved it and was as surprised as I was that I planted it on my own.

I looked around the garden, noticing that some of the flowers' petals were turning that sad shade of brown, indicating that they were wilting and dying. I found it kind of interesting that they chose this time to start doing that because Alois and I have been fighting a lot lately. I don't even know why we were fighting so much. At first it wasn't much of a big deal to me but then we started fighting over the stupidest things. Then he started leaving all day and all night.

I got paranoid. I thought he was cheating on me. My parents marriage had fallen apart due to my dad cheating. It hurt my mum so much that she fell into a deep depression and ended up killing herself. Then my dad left me. He moved in with his girlfriend in Manchester. I didn't want this to happen to Alois and I.

So I confronted him about it. That lead to another fight. We yelled and screamed at each other. I was crying my eyes out the entire time. I hated fighting so much. I loved him so doing this broke my heart. It also reminded me of my parents. They would scream at each other every night for two years straight. I was eight when it started. I was ten when my mum killed herself and my father left.

Anyway, back to Alois possibly cheating. We argued back and forth for hours. There were a few times where we would just sit and stare at each other, neither of us knowing what to say next. Then one of us would speak up and the yelling and screaming would come soon after that. Eventually Alois got up, looked me straight in the eye and said "Fuck it" and walked out, leaving me speechless in the middle of the room.

I didn't know what to do or think. Was he leaving me? Was he going to go to his 'non-existent' boyfriend and sleep with him and tell him how he hates me and wants to leave me? What am I going to do? I can't lose Alois. I just can't. I love him so much. I would just fall apart if he left me.