Wait...Humans Need Air, Right? (Merstuck! DirkJake Fanfic)

21. KARKAT DOES STUFF

He trudged along the hot sand towards the cave. He looked around, checking for anyone that might follow him, but there beach was still empty.

Soon he had reached the cave. Dave was swimming in the lagoon, looking really bored.

"Yo, I'm here."

Dave thrashed back in surprise at the sound of Karkat's voice. He spun around to look at his bro.

"Dude," he deadpanned like he hadn't had the shit scared out of him moments ago, "Not. Cool."

Karkat shrugged. "Sorry, not sorry, that I announced my presence to you instead of sneaking up on you like a creep." He took his backpack and unzipped it. "I brought you food."

Dave swam closer. "What kind?"

"Apples, and I have some Doritos left over from last time."

"What's an 'apple'?"

Karkat rolled his eyes, even though he knew Dave couldn't know what an apple was. He snarked, "Well, why don't you try one and see for yourself?"
He took out an apple and hurled it at Dave's face.

Dave caught it, completely unfazed.

"Seriously, bro? You could've just handed it to me like a normal person," he complained. He swam towards where the water met the floor of the cave.

Karkat sat next to him, his shoes off and his legs dangling into the lagoon. "But that wouldn't have been as fun to do."

He pulled an apple out of his bag. "Do you need me to show you how to eat an apple or can you figure it out by yourself?"

Dave stared at the apple for a moment. He had eaten many different human foods before from his human friends but this was different. From its sweet smell, Dave figured it was either a 'fruit' or a 'pastry', but it wasn't squishy enough to crush in your hand, so it was probably a 'fruit'. But this only raised more questions. Was its red skin edible, like that of a 'pear', or did you need to peel it off, like a 'banana'? Dave had been staring at the apple for so long, he could almost feel the apple staring back.

He looked at Karkat.

"Please help me."

Karkat chuckled and took a bite of the apple.

Dave frowned. "Really? That's it? You just sorta-?" Dave mimed out taking a bite.

Karkat nodded slyly, a smirk upon his face.

Dave looked at his apple, shrugged, and took a bite.

This is the best 'fruit' I've ever eaten, he decided. He found it more enjoyable than the sour 'lemon', the sweet 'banana', and even the 'plum', which was both sour AND sweet.

"So what do you think?" Karkat interrupted Dave's thoughts.

"Dude, this is the best fucking thing anyone ever came up with," Dave mused, half-chewed bits of apple spilling out of his mouth.

"Anyway," Karkat began, looking away from his friend's messy eating habits, "You called me because you want love advice?"

Dave nodded and swallowed the remainder of his apple. "Yes, I think I might be in love."

Karkat nodded and pulled a small notebook and a pen out of his backpack. He flipped to a clean page and asked, "Who do you think you're in love with?"

Dave looked up at Karkat. "Promise you won't tell anyone?" He asked quietly.

Karkat rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Bitch, please, if I told on everyone who told me their crushes when they came for me for love advice, I'd be out of business. Besides, you're my best bro. If I told on you, I'd be metaphorically shitting on our entire friendship and then hacking it up with a chainsaw. You just don't do that to a bro."

"Thanks, bro," Dave said with sincerity. He took a deep breath before confessing, "I think I might kinda like.................

........Jade." (Wow I can hear you guys' screams of anger already. *Excuse me* for wanting to experiment with different ships. Not everything has to be Davekat, my friends.)

Karkat showed no emotion on what he thought of his crush; he merely scribbled something down in his notebook and asked, "How do you feel when you think about Jade?

Dave could feel his face get red as he answered, "Really good......"

"Define 'really good'."

Dave sighed. "Its......indescribable."

Karkat looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You can't describe it?" He asked.

"Nope."

Karkat went to go write something else down before he interrupted himself and exclaimed, "Wait, don't you like John, too?"

"Well, last time I called you here, I did, but then John started going out with Vriska, you know, that bitch, and it kinda destroyed any feelings I might have for him."

"Ahh. I see." He scribbled some more notes in his notebook before flipping it shit and announcing, "You're totally in love, dude. Like, head over heels in love."

Dave winced. "It's that bad?"

"Once you lose the ability to describe your feelings, you're in too deep and there is no escape. Look on the bright side; you can tell her now."

Dave shook his head and snarked, "Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah no. Not gonna happen, bro."

"Well you'll have to tell her eventually, so why not get it over with- hey, what's that?" Karkat interrupted himself, squinting and pointing off into the distance.

When Dave turned around, he saw a sparkly thing floating in the ocean.

Just then, Jade ran into the cave. "Hey guys," she panted, having obviously run the entire way. "What's up?"

Dave, rather than answer her, dove into the water and swam for the mysterious object.

It was only few yards away, so Dave reached it in no time.

The mystery item was a small green bundle with a familiar sword symbol on it. A bottle with a swirling orange liquid was inside. There was a note attached, but Dave didn't even need to read it to know who it was from and what it was for.

Once he got back to the lagoon, Jade and Karkat were waiting for him.

Jade sighed huffily. "What the hell, Dave?" She asked in irritation. "You could've at least said 'hi'."

Dave ignored her and held up the bundle.

"You guys wanna become merpeople?"

HELLOOOO!!!!!! I FINALLY UPDATED!!!! ARENT YOU ALL SO PROUD OF ME!!!  AND JUST BEFORE THE NEW YEAR!! Yeah 2016 was a rough year in many, many, MANY ways. But there were good things about it too; Davekat is canon (but not here please don't hate me), rose and kanaya are married and calliope is ok. I wish everyone a happy new year and the best of luck in 2017. I hate to be the one to make that joke (I'm really not) but see you all next year!!! PCHOOOOO!!!!!!

             -CC