||My Invisible Wound||

||I'm Sorry||

    c h a p t e r | t w e n t y

     I stood in front of my house. The edges of my mouth didn't curl up into a smile; my face was kept neutral. As I stood there, frozen in place as I saw him walk up the steps to the front door, it was then that I realized that my parents didn't know. They didn't know my plans, and were about to be told that I died.

      My fists tightened; my knuckles turned white. I knew what I had to do.

      My feet lead me to the front door, where Elyes stood.

      Waiting for my parents to answer it.

      My mother opened the door in her pink pajamas. She smiled as she saw Elyes, and opened the door to welcome him in. He went to the living room and sat on the couch; I had walked through right before my mother closed the door.

      My father came from the bathroom with a robe on. "I thought I heard someone knock on the door," my dad said. His voice was so alive; happy. Ecstatic.

      Elyes smiled a bit, until he told both of my parents to sit down.

      "Is everything all right, Elyes?" my mother questioned in a firm voice.

      He froze.

      He opened and closed his mouth again and again. His jaw was quivering and he chuckled. "I'm sorry," he said as a tear dwindled from his eye. "Um . . ." he continued to stutter. "Alysha," he began. My name came out as if it was too much for him to say, as if it slithered its way out of his mouth like it was fire and he was trying to spit it out. Somehow, I didn't blame him. I knew that he must've felt something when I died. He breathed in and sniffled. "Alysha passed away last night."

      "What do you mean? How do you know this?" my father questioned as he furrowed his eyebrows.

      "Last night, she had texted me to come here so we could talk. And I had wanted to stay over because she sounded as if she was going to do something rash. And while I was asleep, she had left to a cliff . . ." He stopped. He knew it was going too far. It was too much for my parents; too explicit, too much detail.

      "And?" my mother insisted.

      "Jake and I had gotten there in time to try to talk her out of it, but . . . she wouldn't listen. She wouldn't understand or she was just too stubborn . . . and . . . she . . . fell." Tears escaped his eyes; making his eyes completely red.

      My parents sat in silence.

      My father had a silent tear, but my mother began to lose it. She didn't say a word, but she had gotten up to leave to another room, with her hand covering her mouth.

      I just stood, watching everyone's reaction. Was this what I really wanted? Wasn't this what I expected?

      Of course it was what you wanted, and you knew that you were going to get this exact reaction. You think people don't care about you? How about this? What do you think now?

      "But I didn't meant for any of this to happen!" I yelled to myself, feeling rage and disappointment. It wasn't supposed to happen. They weren't supposed to be caring and crying when they heard about the news of my death.

      You should've thought of that before you killed yourself.

      "But how was I supposed to know?"