2.53am|| Joe Sugg/ Thatcherjoe Fanfiction

one.

She forgot what a chemically balanced brain feels like, what being completely happy and okay with herself feels like. She forgot the feeling years ago when the grown up 21 hit her in the face. That night she sat alone at 2:52 am waiting to be hit with the reality of growing up. Staring at the candles as they merely flicker in the dark room, the only comfort was the tick of the clock. Five years ago she told herself that she won't live to see 21 candles on her cake.

She places her freezing hands on the warm coffee mug. Bringing it up to her cracked lips she takes a sip and lets the scalding liquid flow down her throat, filling her with a warm feeling. She takes out a small journal filled with big secrets. She writes her 6 am thoughts down, being careful to use her prettiest handwriting. She rips the paper out and places it on the table and leaves.

Thank you, the coffee was lovely and so were you, see you tomorrow x

She lets her boots click off the icy pavement as she makes her way through the chilly streets of London. High and dazzled, she walks in her trench coat. Her eyes tired yet starving for adventure. Letting her mind wander, it is easy to feel disoriented in the city at the dawn of morning. She looks down at her watch that reads, 6:53 am and continues walking. It is too early for her. Her mind is not fully capable of thinking at this hour. But she fell in love with the sunrise and how it comforted her. She's dedicated and she would never give up on something she loves.

She keeps walking not sure of where exactly she was going. She passes new and old faces, some give her warm smile and the rest ignore her. She decides it would be a good idea to drop by her sister's house. It wasn't too early, around eight or so and she knows her sister is an early bird so it wouldn't matter. She sends her a quick text.

I'll be at yours in five x

She hasn't seen her sister in around a year or so and no matter how long they've been apart it was never awkward. They would just catch up and forget about each other for a couple of months and meet up again. They both knew that was the reality. It would've been that or never seeing each other. The story was confusing and she didn't fancy telling people anymore.

She enters the elevator. She is greeted with a mirror and buttons. The elevator is small and makes her feel anxious. She presses the button that says 'Floor 3'. Her heartbeat begins to speed up. Catching up on her and choking her. She is overwhelmed with nausea and it feels like she's floating in space, unsure when she'll fall into the deadly void. Static forms in her ears, she is temporarily deaf. The air stings her eyes and she begins to cry. She's gasping, trying to hold onto the very little air that surrounds her. She grasps her throat, ragged breaths were being ripped out of her chest. Her palms sweat and slip off the bar that she's holding onto. The elevator opens and she tumbles onto the floor. She's drowning in her own tears. She wants to shrivel up into nothingness. She closes her eyes and never wants to open them.

She's awoken by someone grasping her arm. She no longer feels out of control. She can breathe. Her heartbeat steady. The nauseous feeling left her body to find another victim. Her breath is normal and she feels like crying again. She survived it. She was proud of herself.

A young male sits beside her. Staring at her with crystal blue eyes. They remind her of the sea. She looks into them and sees the waves crashing into the shore, she sees the sea foam being flung to the air. She closes her eyes and imagines the sea. Her body is no longer tense. She hopes the boy will go away. She thinks that it is enough to signal him that it is okay, there is no need to stay any longer. He doesn't move.

"It's okay. I'm okay. You can go. Thank you." she whispers.

"Can I call someone to get you? Do you have anyone that could get you home? I haven't seen you around and unless you're new around here then this sure isn't where you live." He looks deep into her eyes as if he is trying to figure out what she's thinking.

"I'll get myself home. It's fine, really. Thanks." She stands up. She walks away and finds her sister's house number. The door with the number 497 opens. A man in his mid- thirties answers the door. His hair isn't just brown it's as if all the coppers, auburns, bronzes collided together. He had a warm smile, one that would make you giddy inside. One that made you forget that you are in fact twenty-three not twelve.

"Hi, is Evelyn home?"

He gestures her inside. Her sister sits by a dining room table in front of some documents. She runs up to her giving her a massive hug.

"I've missed you so much, darling." Evelyn mutters into her ear. "and baby Calvin can't wait to meet his aunt"