"So... my story is about the 6th grade graduation dance before moving to junior high," I say holding up my packet so I can read, "This is the night Kyle and Cartman started dating. You wanna see how?"
"That's not true!" Kyle yells interrupting my story,"I'd never date fatass!"
"AYE! I'm not fat!" Cartman yells,"And as much as I already hate the plot, I'm slightly want to know how this pans out."
"See Kyle, this is why nobody reads stories while you're in the room," I say tapping my fingers against my thigh,"You always interrupt them."
"Fine!" Kyle says throwing his hands in the air in defeat.
"So Kyle, Stan, Cartman, and Kenny were sitting at a table playing truth or dare," I say dramatically setting the scene,"'So Cartman, truth or dare' Kenny said. Kenny was just forced to sing Breaking the Habit by Lincoln Park, not that it matters. Kenny is the best singer ever. I'm the second." I laugh.
"I'm not the BEST." Kenny says rolling his eyes at me.
"Shut- up Ken," I say still laughing slightly," So Cartman doesn't wanna look like a pussy, right? So he's all like,'Fucking dare, duh.' And so Kenny thinks for a minute trying to come up w/ the most embarrassing dare ever. So Kenny said,'I dare you to sing Fuck U Betta and deticate it to your crush.'"
"You better not sing it Helean." Kyle says really annoyed like, but I laugh in response.
"Let me finish the story Kyle," I say using my best puppy eyes,"So Cartman is all like,'Aw fuck no Kenny. You know I can't do that.' So Kyle goes,'Well if you don't you gotta kiss your crush.' he wouldn't have said that had he knew he was the one. Though secretly Kyle wanted it to be himself, but you know Kyle the sneaky jew would never ever ever ever ever ever ever admit that. Ever. So Cartman clenched his jaw angrily and leaned across smacking his lips into Kyle's"
"EWWWWW!" Kyle and Cartman say together.
"Then what happens!" Butters asks attentively.
"Well," I say dramatically walking across the front of the classroom,"So this crazy ass blonde girl stabs Kenny from behind. Kenny is now dead. Yet nobody notices because they are all staring at Kyle and Cartman. Craig and Tweek take this opportunity to slip away, but I can talk about that. Gotta keep this PG."
"WH-WHAT!" Tweek yells.
"Well that is true," Craig says,"But we used Kenny getting stabbed by YOU as a distraction. Not what ever the fuck you're talking about." Craig points at me when he says that.
"Aw!" I say in fake hurt resting a hand over my chest,"That's not the point. Anyway, so everyone is staring except for the pair who slipped away TOO FUCK IN CLASSROOM 201! Yeah I know exactly what classroom! So Clyde cleared his throat loudly and said,'Get a room.' Several students laughed. The rest is history." I finish giving a small bow.
Most of the class claps. Most being everyone except Kyle and Cartman. They just shake their heads slowly. I'm going to have hell to pay from them later, but it was totally worth it.
"Okay lets get one thing clear," Kyle says,"The only true parts of that were Kenny sang Breaking the Habit and you stabbed him."
"No, Craig fucked Tweek so hard he had to carry him for a week." I say.
"Yeah, I had to carry him for slightly over a week." Craig says nodding slightly.
Tweek is completely frozen.
And as they say, the rest is history.
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South Park Karaoke? (Kyman)
FanfictionOkay, so I decided to write a Kyman South Park oneshot... Plzzzz don't mad about Kyman! I was listening to songs on Youtube and came up with this.... don't kill me...
