Chapter 29 : "A difficult ordeal"

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Terry went back home later than usual and his mind was elsewhere. What had just happened at the hospital was too much for him. Susanna who depended on him completely... He thought about giving up on everything, but if Susanna hurts herself, or committed suicide, he would have that on his conscience for the rest of his life. He also felt guilty because he prayed everyday so he wouldn't have Susanna as a partner on scene and his wish was granted but at what cost? He owe his life to Susanna now, without Susanna, he probably would be dead, without Susanna, Candy would've lost him, but with Susanna, Candy would still lose him... He couldn't think about talking to Candy and tell her what was going on... He didn't want to give her up, but it looked like he didn't have the choice... He should've married her when he could, but he wanted to do things the right way, ask for her hand in marriage to her adoptive father... Why was destiny attacking him again? He lost her in the freezing water once and it was a miracle that they both survived and found each other again... He didn't want to leave her anymore and he should've made sure that didn't happen if he had married Candy, Mrs. Marlowe wouldn't be able to force him to abandon his legitimate wife... what a mess! Having a woman so obsessed with him, that he had become almost vital to her...

"No, tell me I'm dreaming, that all this is just a nightmare! I can't give up Candy! There's got to be another solution!" He said to himself

But the more he thought about it, the less he saw a solution. When he arrived home, Candy was waiting for him, worried. When he opened the door, she saw his unhappy face, and she hugged him hard. Then, he looked for her lips and kissed her passionately for a while and they started to take their clothes off , walking to end up in the bedroom where he made love to Candy with an unknown rage. He was angry, angry against the world which was playing a dirty trick on him. The Titanic had temporarily destroy their dream; the sensation of powerlessness in front of the huge sinking boat into icy waters, was frightening, knowing that it was only a matter of time... he had kissed Candy passionately, knowing it was probably the last time... The icy waters had brutally separated them, every body hang on to everybody, the first minutes, but everybody stopped moving really fast too, sliding into a dead silence. Terry had looked for Candy everywhere without finding her... the sensation that millions of little frozen knives were entering his body, he stopped fighting... But he was alive and he had Candy with him and he was making love to her savagely, and even though the sensation was good, he was still angry against the world...

He was holding her in his arms and Candy was crying.

- What's wrong my love, she asked him, you came back later than usual. Were you able to see Susanna today?

- Yes...

- How is she

- She's living on a cloud

- A cloud?

- She thinks we're together...

- What do you mean, "she thinks"?

- The doctor said she's in a very fragile state... the thought of her and I together, is maintaining her alive, is giving her hope...her mother even told the doctor that I was her ex boyfriend and the doctor asked me to get back together with her!

- Oh Terry! What are you going to do?

- I want to drop everything! But if Susanna kills herself because of me, I will never forgive myself!

- That's emotional blackmail! Oh my God!

- I tried to tell them that I was engaged, that I was getting married

- What did Mrs. Marlowe said?

- That if Susanna hadn't saved me, you would've lost me...

- So I can lost you now...

- Candy, I love you so much my love, I can't lose you

- Oh my love, I don't want to lose you either! But you've got a moral obligation... she depends on you, she saved you...

- Maybe she should've left me die...

- Don't say that Terry, I've lived hell on earth when I thought you were dead!

- But Candy, this situation we're living, if I agree to take care of this moral duty, it means that you and I...

- I know what it means, said Candy crying, I love you Terry

- I don't even want to think about being with her

- You have to, Terry...

- No...

- If she dies...

- Candy stop it! No! I love you!!

He hugged her hard, crying. He had to give up Candy... they were both crying.

- Maybe I should go spend some time in Chicago...

- Candy...

- I'm going to go see my friends

- Candy...

- Terry you have to be with her, I won't be able to live in this town without you...

- No, Candy, wait, why rush into anything? You really want to leave me?

- No, I don't want to leave you my love, but I can't stay here, knowing that you're acting like Susanna's fiancé...

- What about your daycare?

- I've got employees, everything is going to be fine...

- Candy...

- Make love to me again honey...

They made love all night and by the morning, Terry had managed to convince Candy to stay with him and find another solution.

- It's no use Terry... unless Susanna stop being in love with you, and after what she did, I don't thing that's ever going to happen...

- Please Candy, give us another chance

- All right my love, let's try...

- Thank you Candy... and it's the big premiere today, you're not going to miss it...

- I completely forgot! Forgive me sweetheart

- You are so cute! He said pulling her to kiss her

Terry was decided to go see Susanna and tell her that he will no be with her and that his life was with Candy...

Candy was afraid of Susanna's reaction. She had a bad feeling. She had a very agitated day. She called Mr. George to ask him to find someone to replace her at her daycare, because if Terry manages to convince Susanna, they were going to take a few days of vacations...

It was the night of the premiere. Terry will not come back for lunch. Candy left her work earlier to go get ready, and she went to the hairdresser's.

Terry went to see Susanna to speak to her seriously. He found her alone and smiling.

- Terry! How nice of you to come and see me the day of the premiere! I will be able to wish you good luck!

- Thank you Susanna

- Are you nervous?

- Of course, it's my first big role

- The king of France was a supporting role, that's true... Romeo...

- Susanna...

- You're going to come and see me after the play...

- Yes, I'll come, but as a friend, Susanna... I'm engaged to be married and I'm going to marry Candy, I love her... I met her on the Titanic and we lived the tragedy together... to live something like that together, creates an unbreakable link... we both almost die...

- I almost died saving you Terry, I love you...

- But I love Candy, Susanna, you can't be happy with me when I'm thinking about another girl...

- I'm happy because I love you Terry, said Susanna softly

- But I'm happy with Candy... you're a good friend, but I'm not in love with you Susanna...

Susanna had tears in her eyes. Her heart was broken. Terry didn't want her, he loved his dear Candy.

- Oh Terry, you can be with her, she said crying, good luck on stage

- I'm sorry Susanna and thank you for everything, I will be grateful to you for the rest of my life!

- Grateful... I wanted to marry you... goodbye Terry

Terry went back to the theatre and Susanna burst into tears. Her mother arrived and found her in tears...

- Susanna? What's wrong? Are you in pain, honey?

- No...

- Then, what's wrong?

- Terry...

- He's at the theatre for the premiere honey, I'm sure he's going to come after the play to see you , don't cry

- He doesn't want me, mom... he's going to marry his Candy

- What?

- He came a while ago to tell me...

- How could he do such a thing? When you need him so much?! You saved his life! He has no right to abandon you!!

- Oh mom, I don't want to live any more, I'm feeling bad, I'm hurting...

- No, honey, I'm here and I'm going to fix the situation... don't worry. I'm going to tell the nurse to give you a sedative, you're upset

A male nurse came and gave Susanna a sedative and she ended up falling asleep. Mrs. Marlowe was angry. She had to speak to Terry after the play... he had no right to hurt her daughter.

Candy was back home and she was getting dressed for the premiere of "Romeo and Juliet" She still had a bad feeling since the morning. She went to the theatre with Florence and Henry. There were a lot of people. Candy saw the Reagans from afar without approaching them. She went to see Terry in his changing room. She had flowers for him.

- Flowers? For me? He said

- What? Are you used to getting carrots or something? She said smiling

- From my Snow White? No, a basket of apples

- You know me too well, she said laughing

She went out to pick up something; it was a basket of apples.

- There you go, my prince...

He took her in his arms after putting the basket on a small table

- Coming from you , I'm sure they're not poisonous...

- But if they had come from Mrs. Marlowe...

- Especially after what I did to her daughter...

- By the way, how did it go?

- She was crying, but I explained the situation to her and she understood

- I've got a bad feeling Terry...

- We'll go see her after the play...

- All right, I want to make sure she's fine

- All right

- And thank her, after all, she did saved your life...

- Yes...

He kissed her for a long time. Their lips separated with regrets.

- Good luck my love

- Thank you my heart

Candy got out to join Florence and Henry. She saw Eleonor with a black wig and black glasses, she was incognito to see the premiere of her son. Candy decided to leave her alone, since she was Florence and Henry. The play started and Terry was magnificent. He was born to play Romeo! Candy was happy to see Rose play Juliet but she couldn't stop thinking about Susanna and the bad feeling which was refusing to go away. During the intermission, Candy went to stretch her legs with Florence and Henry.

- Terrence was magnificent Candy, he's going to become a great actor, said Henry

- I already knew that, said Candy smiling

- I'm speechless, said Florence, he was breathtaking!

They burst out laughing, when they heard some ladies talk:

- That Terrence Grandchester is wonderful, the young Rose too...

- But it's a pity that the young Susanna was unable to play Juliet, she dreamed about it

- Yes, it's unfortunate, what's happened to her, the poor girl

- To lose her leg so young!

- She wants to taka advantage of the situation to force Terrence to stay with her... since she saved his life...

- And it's going to work too, Terrence is feeling so guilty, they say he goes to see her at the hospital every day

- And that's good, because they say she's on a verge of a nervous break down and without Terrence , she would've killed herself, he had become vital to her...

Candy felt even worst after hearing those words. Terry had just told Susanna that he didn't love her and that he was not going to marry her. Susanna must be down in the damps, especially on the night of the premiere where she was supposed to play Juliet with the man she loved on scene.

- Florence, Henry, I have to go somewhere...

- But Candy... what's going on?

- I have to go see Susanna at the hospital

- Why now? Can't it wait the end of the play?

- No, I've got a very bad feeling! Tell Terry where I am after the play...

- All right, said Florence sadly

- Thank you said Candy leaving the theatre

Candy went to Saint. Jacob hospital with a carriage and went directly to Susanna's room and it was empty. Mrs. Marlowe arrived at the same time with oranges...

- What are you doing here? Where is my daughter?

- I found the room empty, said Candy

- What? But where is she? It's too late for tests! Oh my God! Susanna!

- We're going to look for her! Said Candy

The nurses arrived and started looking for Susanna everywhere, without any success! Where could she had gone with one leg? When the search on the floor were unsuccessful: Candy passed in front of the stairs that lead to the hospital roof... and her bad feeling just got stronger, she went up the stairs... She arrived on the roof, she saw Susanna outside with her hospital gown. It was snowing heavily outside. Candy ran to her...

- Susanna!

Susanna turned around and looked at Candy. She got angry.

- What the devil are you doing here Candy? It's not enough that you have the man I love, you want to rub it to my face?

- Susanna, said Candy sadly

- You can keep him! I have no reason to live! I lost my leg, my career is over... Terry doesn't want me... I might as well end it now

- No! Said Candy, don't do this Susanna, life is worth living

- Without a leg and the man I love? No, be happy with him...

- NO! Said Candy holding on to her, no Susanna, don't do this, I beg you Terry will never forgive himself...

- So, that's why you don't want me to kill myself, so that Terry feels good with you?

- Susanna, I'm begging you... don't do this, think about your mother, she's going to be devastated

- She'll get over it, Terry too

Candy felt guilty after the tragedy of the Titanic, why was she alive when so many people have died? She could've let someone else on that closet door, like she left her place and Terry's to that woman and her children... But the tragedy was not her fault, but Candy said to herself, if she had insisted on convincing the captain not to go to those icy waters, nobody would've died... So to have Susanna's suicide on the conscience, knowing she could've avoided it, if only Terry had stay with Susanna instead of her... It was going to poison their live and prevent them from living in peace. So Candy held on to Susanna, refusing to let go of her.

- No Susanna, don't do this... I'm begging you...

- Let go of me, Candy, I want to die, without Terry, I don't want to live, this way you will have peace

But there was never going to be any peace if Susanna dies blaming Candy and Terry... Susanna knew it and Candy was disappointed to see her so vindictive, but she was probably not in her normal state and she needed Terry... Candy's heart was broken into a million pieces

- Susanna, it's cold, it's snowing, you're going to catch a cold with your nightgown, let's go back to your room

- No!

- Susanna!

It was Terry's panicked voice. He ran to get her. Candy let go of Susanna and Terry carried her.

- Susanna, what are you doing here instead of being in your room?

- Terry, said Susanna curling against him with love, oh Terry you're here, I feel better already!

Candy and Terry looked at each other without a word, their look was hurt... they both felt guilty. The hospital staff arrived and helped Terry with a blanket for Susanna, everybody went back inside. Terry entered the room with Susanna and Mrs. Marlowe was hysterical and crying.

- Susanna honey! How could you do that? Oh my baby!

The door was now closed... Candy went to the waiting room. Mrs. Marlowe went to sit next to her.

- You can leave my daughter with Terrence, she loves him, he's like the air she breathes for her

Candy looked at Mrs, Marlowe sadly.

- Thank you for finding her and for saving her, but you can do more to prevent something like this from happening again... You're beautiful and young and you'll find another man but who would want my daughter mutilated? Leave Terry to my daughter, you probably saw how she came back to life when Terry took her in his arms, he gives her courage and the will to live, without Terry, she's going to let herself die if she doesn't attempt suicide again... She needs Terrence, I beg you... I don't want to lose my daughter...

Terry got out of Susanna's room and walked to Candy who stood up and they hugged for a long time. Mrs. Marlowe was looking at them and she could see how much Terry and Candy loved each other. He had never looked at Susanna that way, but if he was the one Susanna wanted, who cares how he looked at her daughter...

- Let's go, said Terry

- Is she all right? Asked Candy

- She's better...

Terry turned to Mrs. Marlowe

- I will come and see her tomorrow...

- Good bye Terrence, she said

Candy and Terry went back home in a heavy silence. They had to eat, but they had no appetite. They went to their bedroom. Still in silence, they took their close off and they made mad passionate love. Terry held her hard against him, tears in his eyes. Candy was crying in silence. Then she said:

- It's not going to work out, right?

- She tried to kill herself, if you hadn't been there...

- We would've been full of remorse...

- Oh Candy, that's not how I wanted it to happen, she seemed reasonable when I talked to her... it's not fair! We survived the most infamous tragedies of all times, to be separated by an accident at the theatre? I don't want to lose you, it hurts too much!

- Terry, I don't want to lose you either, but we don't have the choice... we can't have her death on our conscience

- That's emotional blackmail!!

- If she dies...

- I know, that's what's killing me!

- I'm going to go to Chicago, said Candy

- What about your daycare centre?

- Well I asked George to take care of it...

- When?

- This morning...

- You were thinking about leaving me?

- No, I was thinking about taking a few days off to spent them with you somewhere, said Candy wiping her tears

- Oh my love! Said Terry hugging her hard, how am I going to live without you? I love you so much...

- I love you too my love... but I'm going to leave today

- Already?

- It's not use prolonging our torment...

- The torment is this forced separation... live without you...

- I don't want long goodbyes... I will leave when you'll be at the theatre...

- Candy, I love you...

- I love you too Terry. You were wonderful on stage

- Why did you leave in the middle of the play?

- I had a bad feeling... and I was right... I wish I was wrong...

- It's my fault...

- No Terry, it's not your fault...

- I didn't want to be Romeo with her on stage... "Be careful what you wish for", this is really the case to say it...

- Well blame me too, then, I was wishing for the same thing, with all my heart that Rose gets to be Juliet, not Susanna...

- Oh Candy, all this because she saved my life! She should've let me die

- Don't say that... I'm grateful to her for saving you...I've lived in a world where I thought you were dead and it was hell. Knowing you're alive, even without me... It's better than to know you dead...

- I should've married you...

- You wanted to... I will never stop loving you...

- I loved you, I love you and I will love you forever, until the end of times...

They kissed and they made love until morning. It was their goodbye night. They fell asleep and when Candy woke up, Terry had left for the theatre.

She packed her bags and asked Mr. George to send someone to get the rest of her stuff. She went to say goodbye to Florence and Henry.

- But Candy, you can't go! You love Terry to death...

- I can't stay and risk Susanna killing herself because of us...

- But that's blackmail! Said Henry

- I know... but we can't take the risk, said Candy sadly

- Oh Candy! Said Florence hugging her, I'm going to miss you!

- I'm going to miss you too, said Henry, thank you for everything

- What about your daycare?

- My father's company is going to take care of it, I can't close it when so many women depend on it...

Candy was crying when she left them.

- Good luck Candy, come and see us...

- I will, said Candy leaving

Mr. Georges had sent a car which took her to the daycare centre and she was able to kiss little Jack. Rose came to see her at the daycare.

- Candy, I'm sorry

- Can you keep an eye on him for me Rose, ok?

- Ok, said Rose hugging her

- Goodbye Rose, I'm going to miss you

- I'm going to miss you too little sister!

They were both crying. Then Candy kissed all the children and she went to the train station. She took the train, first class, she was alone and she was able to cry , she cried until she got to Chicago. Mr. Georges had told Archibald, who came to pick him up at the train station.

- I'm so happy to see you Candy, he said hugging her

- Me too, but where's Alistair?

- He went to France...

- What? Said Candy, oh my God! He's crazy!

- What about you and Terry?

- It's over...

- What? Said Archie stunned

- Yes, over, done!

- But why?

- I don't want to talk about it...

- Where does all this sadness in our lives coming from?

- I don't know... I'm not feeling too well...I think I'm coming down with something

- Let's go home quickly and put you to bed and give you some good old chicken soup...

- Thank you Archie, said Candy bursting into tears

He held her in his arms and more or less consoled her... he took her to the mansion, where the great aunt greeted her

- Candy, you look sick

- I'm not feeling good Aunt Elroy, said Candy

- You should go straight to bed

- Yes Aunt Elroy, said Candy with a little voice

Candy went to her room and she went to bed. They brought her some chicken soup. She ate a little bit. It had been days since she had time to each something really fast, ever since Susanna's accident. Candy was feeling dizzy, so she ate and felt a lot better, and she fell asleep crying.

Terry came back for the theatre in the evening after visiting Susanna who seemed very happy. He looked at her and he didn't feel anything! All he wanted was his Candy. The apartment was empty, like his heart. Candy had taken it with her. Tears were coming down his cheeks.

All at once
I finally took a moment
And I'm realizing that
You're not coming back
And it's finally hit me all at once
All at once I've started counting teardrops
And at least a million fell
My eyes began to swell
And all my dreams were shattered all at once

Ever since I met you
You're the only love I've known
And I can't forget you
Though I must face it all alone

Chorus:
All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
Wishing you'd come back to me
And that's all that matters now
All at once I'm drifting on a lonely sea
Holding on to memories
And it's hurt me more than you know
So much more than it shows
All at once

I looked around and found that you were
With another love
In someone else's arms
And all my dreams were shattered all at once
All at once the smile that used to greet me
Brightened someone else's day
She took your smile away
And left me with just memories all at once

Ever since I met you
You're the only love I've known
And I can't forget you
Though I must face it all alone

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