Message Me [Septiplier]

fourteen

Thursday, April 28, 2016
*trigger warnings: mentions of depression, self harm, and suicide*

septicsean: i wish you'd tell me what's going on

mef95: I can't.

septicsean: and why not?

mef95: I wouldn't want you to hate me. I couldn't handle it if you hated me.

septicsean: mark...
septicsean: i would never ever hate you
septicsean: i probably wouldn't even be able to make myself hate you if you killed someone
septicsean: i love you mark

mef95: Do you really mean that?

septicsean: well yeah
septicsean: you're my best friend
septicsean: you're supposed to love your best friend right?

mef95: Of course.

septicsean: now will you tell me or not?

mef95: Seán, I..
mef95: I guess, to put it simply, I have depression. Really badly. I have anxiety issues and I... A part of me
mef95: just
mef95: doesn't want to be here anymore. I can't keep pretending to be happy when I'm really not, I can't keep dreaming that one day I'll wake up, and I'll remember how good it feels to be content. I'll remember how it feels, not wanting to rip a blade through my skin.
mef95: But when? When will I get to find my happiness? When will things start to get better?

septicsean: i don't know mark
septicsean: i wish i had an answer for you
septicsean: i wish i didn't have the same questions so maybe i could try to help you

mef95: Seán...
mef95: We'll be okay, Seán.

septicsean: nobody knows that mark

mef95: Lets make a promise to each other, alright?

septicsean: what is it..?

mef95: No more pretending that it's okay, not with each other. We always need to tell each other if something's wrong.

septicsean: i dunno if i can make that promise
septicsean: ive gone for years without telling anyone
septicsean: it's gonna be really hard to start

mef95: I know, same here. But we need to try, right? Make an attempt to get better?

septicsean: and help each other through this?

mef95: Exactly. It'll be okay, won't it? Eventually?

septicsean: yeah
septicsean: it will be

mef95: Hey, Seán?

septicsean: yeah?

mef95: Do you wanna skype again?