XXIX: Brave

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The measures you have to take for the sake of how you really felt. Being brave doesn't always mean you're strong, sometimes it only mean something is worth fighting for..

XXIX: Brave
(Rolf's POV)

It has been four days since Dice left me for Luke. I was stuck in this beach house for the fact that I can't see her with him or even find the courage to tell her everything I want to tell her. So I decided to stay explaining to my mom how I want to clear my mind first before going back and see Dice again.

I burried my self in all kinds of chores around the house just to forget everything about her. Gena even called me more than thirty times now saying that she can help me forget Dice but I told her I have only one girl in my mind right now and that Gena is not it.

Today, I was busy cleaning the insides of the house since it looked all gloomy since Dice left. I was sweating off my ass when I heard a honk in my front lawn. I peeked outside as to who it was and when I saw Dice getting off the car I ran outside as fast as I could.

I ran and ran and hugged her tight. I hugged her close to me not minding the sweats in my body. I just missed her so much I cannot bear another day without seeing her.

"Oh Dice you're back!", still I hugged her tight. She hugged me in return but there was a little fear in her eyes that I somehow let go of her. And then I saw Luke getting of the car taking his shades off.

"What the hell is he doing here?", I tried going near Luke meaning every possible harm I can do to him. I can still remember Dice's bruise as he slapped her.

"Rolf..calm down.. He doesn't want any trouble. And I came here to talk to you about something..", Dice said firmly while holding out to me.

"Luke? Can you give us a moment_?", she said.

"Okay.. I'll be back when you call me Dice..", Luke rode the car again and drove away. I hope he's not coming back again.

"I missed you Dice.." I continued hugging Dice. I wanted to kiss her but she let go of me.

"What's wrong?", I asked.

"Everything is wrong Rolf.."

"What do you mean Dice?"

"How about you tell me everything Rolf?", she said with so much hurt in her voice.

"What ate you talking about? I told you Dice and will tell you again.. I love you.."

"Liar..", she accused me with tears in her eyes.

"I am in loved with you Paradise! That's the whole truth!", I exclaimed.

"Then why did you lie to me about everything?" I feel nervous when she said those words. It suddenly took me back the day she saved me and brought me to life again.

"Why Rolf?", she stood there with tears gushing in her eyes. "I mean, why did you play me over and over again? How could you pretend that we were just friends of the past and then all of these just developed? How could you pretend like nothing pushed me to forget all of you? How could you play along as if you're a new person too?", she asked crying. I on the other hand died again as she made me remember how painful the things she'd undergone to save me.

"How could you play along like I have never loved you before? How could you break my heart again?"

"Dice..I..I.."

"How did I saved you?..",

"You. You gave everything to me Dice.."

"And how was everything with you?"

"Lonely. Because it doesn't includes you in it. Because every fucking single day when I realised I loved you, you were not here by my side Dice..because you gave me everything and you remember nothing about me..that's how it had been..", I answered truthfully. I watched her sigh and was looking confused as she turned her back on me and covered her face with her palms. I went near her and  hugged her tight again this time from her back.

"Please Dice.. Let's start a new beginning.. Please don't go away from me again.. Please stay with me this time..", I can feel her heart pounding as I hug her from the back. She was shaking and it killed me knowing that she was hurting and in pain deep inside. She slowly turned to face me and hugged me tight.

"I'm really sorry Dice about all of this. Please give me a chance to start again with you..", I said sincerely.

"I'm sorry too Rolf..but I can't do this right now.. I can't handle these things right now.. ", she said as she let go of me completely. She called that punk and turned away from me. I tried stopping her from walking but she just continued to leave me behind.

"Please Dice..stay with me..", I hugged her again.

"Let's stop pretending Rolf.. I can't do this right now.."she cried harder.

"I love you Dice.."

"I did too. But it turned out to be a dangerous play for the both of us Rolf.. I can't risk everything again.. I'm sorry.."

"No! Dice please!"

"I'm sorry.. I need to do the right thing Rolf.. To forget you once and for all.. I can't afford to play a part where I love you and ends up forgetting everything.. It's better this way.. Goodbye Rolf.. I will always, always have you in my heart.."

As she walks away the world became meaningless. I can't stop her from leaving. And this time leaving me for good.

For the first time in my life, I felt like a broken man insides. I was forgotten by the only paradise I have loved. How can she still remember me? How can she love me after all of these? I am fucking broken. I am fucking doomed this time.

How can you remember me, Paradise?






Are we there yet?
Yes we are..
Is this a sad ending?
Yes it is..
Hope you'll like the last chapter I have  installed for you Chrillians.. Thank you!

Love,
Imping

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