Excerpts from a book I'll never write

{e} lovestory

There's this girl I met once and her appearance just fascinated me so much I wasn't able to ever forget her face again.
I remember her scenting like candles and coffee and a bonfire at the seas.
Her skin was just flawless and I could have searched as long as I wanted to, I would not have found a single freckle anywhere.
Her long brown hair caressed her face in melting dark chocolaty waves, floating like rivers over her shoulders, highlights were set by the sun shining through the dusty windows into the room we met.
As she moved a strand of hair out of her face, behind her ear, she looked down to the floor and was shyly smiling, presenting her almost drawnlike perfect sharp jawline.
I felt the instant urge on lingering my fingers on it - just to make sure she's real, because I couldn't cope with that just being an illusion.
Her lips were full and kissable and were a cherry-reddish but so unique color that from that moment on became my favorite color.
As she looked up she looked me right into my eyes and my heart skipped a beat and I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds and for that seconds I died internally.
I looked into two green eyes and it was looking like the forests with moss- and grass-green spots in it and a dark yellow dash looking like a ray of sunshine, breaking through the roof built up by leafs. It's like they held the whole forest in them.
I almost confound that tiny blue little spot, which got lost in the corner of the iris in her right eye, for a wing spreading butterfly.
I could not look away as hard as I tried.
And even though I did not know that person she instantly made me feel like I was home, sitting in front of the chimney, wrapped up into a blanket and drinking tea.
And although meters tore us apart I felt my heartbeat synchronizing to hers and saw her mouth speaking as my ears confused the sounds for words.
But I also could not "unsee" the fact that she looked sad and overly tired and that she looked as if she cried a couple of moments ago and if she was about to cry again as soon as she would hear the door closing behind her.
The shades under her eyes were almost black.
Her petite figure was slightly shivering and the goosebumps were visible throughout the room.
The cuts she had on both of her wrists were visible too and I couldn't help but stare. A million questions wandered my mind those seconds, whilst the earth stops turning and she stopped breathing as she understood what I was staring at.
She didn't bother hiding.
It felt like she would just be able to breathe again when everyone left.
And I guess that's the crack in her facade.
I left my number for her to text me, because I felt like dying when we were about to leave.
I wanted to never leave her again.
She was a piece of art that has awoken something in me.
And I couldn't stop my heart and my brain to think just about her because she was traveling my mind all day. And I didn't even catch up her name.
She wrote me a message the next day, saying that last evening she felt like heaven could be real as long as I would be near her, that she remembered almost nothing because everything seemed blurry for her and she wasn't able to breath normally as long as I would have been in the apartment we met.
That she remembers a minty, coffee- and vanilla-like smell that stayed hours after I left.
And she remembered confusing my eyes with the night skies, gazing for the black and yellowish spots in them and that she could not let go of them because she hoped finding the rarest of constellations in it.
She texted me that she hoped meeting me again because that's all she was able to recall in her mind but she hoped for so much more.
She also texted that she felt an instant loneliness as we left and she never wanted to feel this kind of loneliness ever again.