Chapter Nineteen
I could feel my pulse racing fast, so fast that I could hear the rhythm of my own rapid heartbeat in my ears as we both sat together in the empty dance studio.
It was almost as if time had stood still, the way it always seemed to when you were just about to receive some bad or worse news, maybe it was the brains way of slowing things down so that you had the chance to expect the worst and mentally prepare yourself.
“are you…pregnant” I asked, my voice sounding small inside the empty room. I gestured my eyes towards her stomach as I said it.
“no” she answered firmly, shaking her head for added effect.
Even though it was wrong of me, for some reason I felt a relief washing over me. I knew it was horrible to be thinking like that, Cheryl had always wanted babies and the whole marriage thing, but something about her having them with him just didn’t sit quite right with me.
I felt a pang of guilt at the thought that I was glad, even though she would probably have been overjoyed had it been true. But before I had chance to dwell on it, she sat forward and went to speak.
“Ashley’s been transferred to a different club” she said, her words came out rushed as though she was trying to think of a better way to say it.
I shrugged my shoulders and frowned at her, not really understanding the gravity of what she was saying, but the look on her face told me that I wasn’t quite getting what she was saying.
“an Italian club”
And that’s when it dawned on me, that she was actually telling me bad news and not just news.
“oh” I replied, trying my best to keep up my strong front.
“do you know what this means Kimberley?” she asked me with a frown, she was obviously expecting me to react badly to the news and was somewhat thrown when I didn’t react at all.
“I’m not stupid Cheryl” I bit back quite sharply, letting my front fall for just a second. She breathed out deeply after a few seconds and leant back in her chair.
“my relationship isn’t strong enough to last with him in Italy and me here” she said quietly, almost too quietly as I had to strain to here her. I sensed it must have been tough for her to say that, and not just to say it, but to say it to me of all people.
“is it permanent”? I asked, fighting the urge to cry and throw myself at her ankles shouting ‘please don’t leave me’.
It was an odd feeling that had descended over me, on the inside I was screaming, my stomach hurt from the thought of her being so far away from me and I felt like I wanted to cry, yet outwardly, it was as though something was preventing me from reacting.
I wanted to at least show that I was upset but I couldn’t, all I could do was nod my head and inwardly tie myself in knots.
“I think so” she shrugged sadly. I could tell that from her demeanour she didn’t want to go, her life was here in England, her career, her friends…I briefly wondered where I fitted in to that little list.
Was I still a friend? Or maybe I was sub headed under career now, maybe that line that we had both crossed had made the decision easier for her to leave.
“when?” I asked quietly, there wasn’t really much need for small talk. She was moving to Italy with her husband and I was staying in England, it wasn’t that difficult for me to understand.
“probably in a month or so…you’re taking this awfully well” she added, and for just a moment I thought I could detect a little disappointment in her tone.
