The Dead Banana Club

1

"Nothing could get any worse than this."

My life was shit. Well not completely but it cut pretty close.

My name is Jerry Bregoli. I'm 17 years old. I live in Wolfheart, Texas where old people come to die because it screams, "End it all here!" It's a pretty intimate town. Everyone knows a little about everyone. Small, too. Not many people pass through and if they do, they're passing away.

I guess one could say I'm a fairly descent looking guy. I have two eyes, a nose and lips so I guess one would say I'm one of the lucky ones. I'm Greek also--- well half Greek, half Afro-Italian. And no it's not that "down the line" bullshit. My parents are immigrants who chose to live the American dream of heat and discrimination. Lovely. Being that I am a part of the minority here, I have minority friends. Well, friend. Her names Maruna Sindhi, a Pakistani loner one would assume but when she opens her mouth, she's the most sociable person you'd know. No, it's not what you think, I am not secretly in love with her and this story isn't going  to end with me and her kissing under the moonlight.

Our story here... well my view is... tricky. It starts when---

"Dear Jerry,

       Momi and I are on our way back to Greece to see your grandmother Cecilia. She's gotten really sick. We don't think she will make it. We left you money in your sock drawer and food. Ms. Viola is right across the street so if you need anything, a ride, a job or someone to hang out with, she says call.

Best regards,

Mama y papa Max.

p.s. We have no clue when we'll be coming back but we WILL keep you updated. Love You."

Never understood why my dad only inquired Spanish when ending his letters... or why he is writing in Spanish when he's Greek and neither of them are Spanish.

"Well. How great. Just wonderful. Might as well check for this food supply I claim to have.... Okay a carton of milk, two boxes of Cap'n Crunch, six bags of chips, pack of hamburger meat... and one big box of chicken flavored Ramen. Yummy."

I know what it sounds like, "Oh his parents deserve a call from CPS," or "What shitty parents leaving without warning," trust me, I think that a bunch. They are great people. Just [sometimes] shitty parents. I remember when I was 7, they left me at home alone for a whole weekend because they 'needed a break from parenting'. I kind of got accommodated to it. More alone time for me, huh? And then there was a knock.

"Open up! It's the police! Nah I'm just messing with you, it's me'."

"Ru, don't do that man. You don't know what I would do," I opened the door unwillingly.

"Actually I do know and it's probably one of the saddest, most pathetic things I'd ever see."

"What do you want man... You want some food? A life? A man?," I don't know what it is about Maruna, or Ru as I call her, but she gives off this undying lesbian vibe but she likes guys. I... always wonder.

"Very funny, you ass. I just got kicked out my parent's house man. My dad basically said 'I'm not acting Paki enough.', what kinda shit is that? They know I came here by the way *so your parents don't have to worry*... wait, where are your parents at?"

"Well... family stuff," I said while I picked up a box of cereal from the top of the fridge.

"I could've sworn you were family," she mumbled as she plopped on my couch.

"Ru, I don't have to take your shit okay? I'm perfectly fine out here on these streets, ma dudes. Also how long are you planning to stay again?" This also isn't the first time Ru has crashed at my place.

There was this one time her dad basically drove passed my house and literally made her hop out onto the curb because he was sick of her 'disobeying their rules'.

"Until I'm good and goddamn re---"

*Both of our phones start to ring* [Text message: UNKNOWN]

"Do you think this message will hack my phone?" Maruna gasps, she is infamous for always trying to freak me out.

"Dude what are you talking about?"
"I got this message from an Unknown number. My mom told me it's usually hackers trying to scan your card info off of your phone."
"Oh shit I got an unknown message too... you think I should open it?," picking up my phone and gazing into the corner like a cheap horror film actor.
"Well I'm not about to jack my phone up so let it rip!"
UNKNOWN:
Welcome to the best idea of your life... text 457 for more information...
*457*
Aha! Smart choice. I am here to introduce you to a once in a lifetime adventure. At 3:22am, a bus will come to YOUR area near Colton parkway. It will be covered in a yellow spray paint that reads "Dead Banana Club", once it arrives, hop aboard to be joined by all your peers to escape the faults of the world. Pack your bags!

"What the... is this a sorta twisted Jigsaw shit here?" Ru whispered while munching on my cereal I poured... for myself.

"This sounds like something Kori Hansen would come up with to prank us. How much you want to bet that we get kidnapped, stripped naked and thrown into the Goldwyn Retirement Home," I said slapping her hand off of my cereal.
"Very descriptive but sounds about right," Ru shrugged off.

"But do you wanna go?"
----------------------------------------------
I drop my phone and darted upstairs.

"Dude you're not really considering going are you?!" Ru says as she stormed up the steps, her black hair flowing behind her.

"My parents love me from a distance, I have no friends and I basically do nothing with my life," I said while packing my bags frantically as if I'm headed for the bus now at 4:35pm.

"You can't do this to me! You're... you're all I have Jer. I'm an annoying loser who literally smokes so much pot, it's unbelievable how my brain still functions in all actuality. I'm rambling--- what I'm trying to say is you can't leave me dude," she grunts as she throws all my clothes back out of the bag.

"Then you come with. You and I basically wear the same thing and neither of our parents give a damn about us. We are pretty much set to go. Let's go for just the weekend so you don't shit your pants. It'll be fine,"

"Well look who's living on the edge all of a sudden!" Maruna steps back to glare me up and down.

"I don't know, I--- I just got this feelings that this is gonna be memorable..."