Two in a Million || Raura

23 | The Past

He didn't reply, so I quickly looked back up at the camera.

"My uh, my dad... He wasn't the best man around." I whisper, looking down at my lap. "He came to America at age eighteen and almost instantly had a seventeen year old knocked up. But that wasn't the problem." I say, taking my sleeves of my black hoodie, the one Ross got me for my birthday, and wipe my eyes. "He was addicted to drugs and alcohol and... after I was born he uh, h-he." Wiping my eyes again, I let out a small sob.

"He chose drugs and alcohol over me." Cue a few more sobs. "My mom f-followed his footsteps a-and be-became a drug add-addict." I dig the palms of my hands into my eyes and let out a scream. "He had the nerve to come to Italy and say he's been clean for fifteen years. Fifteen fucking years he could've tried to make contact with me. F-fifteen fucking years he's b-been in contact with my mom. Twenty fucking years since they both left me by myself with my grandma." I finally remove my hands from my face and try to focus my sight.

"My grandmother, the mother to my dad, died when I was sixteen. Months after I became a model, she had a fucking brain aneurysm and I was too fucking stupid to realize that her nonstop headache ended in her aneurysm bursting and she died in her sleep!" By now, I was shouting, throwing my arms around in the air, and had tears sliding down my cheeks.

I fold my body in half and let out the loud sobs I've been wanting to for who knows how long. Not for my dad, not my great uncle, not for my grandma, but for me.

• • •

"I couldn't do it." I whisper, looking down at Ross. "I couldn't finish the video." I add. Almost an hour ago, Ross came by with wet hair, sweats on, a t-shirt, and a paper bag with the Starbucks logo (which I already ate the cookie). Now, he's sprawled out on the couch, me on top of him, his hands underneath my sweatshirt, and the tv muted with an episode of Friends on.

"How far into it did you get?" He asks quietly. I sigh and drop my head back on his chest.

"After I talked about my shitty parents and after I talked about how I let my grandmother die." I say.

"Laura, you didn't let her-"

"You don't even know how she died, Ross. So you can't be telling me I didn't do it." I untangled my body from him and walked down the hall to my film room. The camera was still set up where I left it hours ago.

"I know you couldn't possibly kill her, Laur." I roll my eyes and go onto my computer, playing back the clip.

"My grandmother, the mother to my dad, died when I was sixteen. Months after I became a model, she had a fucking brain aneurysm and I was too fucking stupid to realize that her nonstop headache ended in her aneurysm bursting and she died in her sleep!" I watch the whole time as I flip the eff out.

"I did kill her, Ross." I whisper, looking up at him. He had a hand on my chair and a hand on my desk, staring into my eyes.

"That's bull shit, Laura. You and I both know there's nothing we could do about a brain aneurysm. Trust me, you didn't kill her." I put my head in my hands and take a few deep breaths.

"I need to finish my video." I whisper, taking the sd card out and putting it back into my camera. I switch all the lights on, turn the camera on, grab my phone, and sit down on the ground. "If you couldn't tell, it's many hours later." I pick at my fingernails and listen as Ross sits down on my computer chair outside of the cameras view. "I'm sorry for cussing." I whisper.

"Laura-"

"Let me finish." I mumble, looking up at him. He had the saddest look ever. I give him a small smile and look back at the camera. "I promise I'm okay. I've got amazing friends here, even if Jess and her boyfriend moved to Paris for who knows how long." I remember telling Ross about that a little while back when I was in Italy the first time. "Video Wednesday, I p-promise." Why am I even crying?

All of a sudden, I felt two arms come underneath my armpits and lifting me up. I look up into Ross' eyes and let his lips press to my forehead before I tightly wrap my arms around his neck and feel my feet being lifted off the ground.

"Can you please turn the camera off?" I mumble, wrapping my legs around his body. It he took a few steps and stopped, then turned the lights off.

"Bed or couch?" He asks.

"Bed." I mumble. "But I need to lock the door, set the alarm-"

"It's okay, I'll do it. Just get changed." He let go of me in my room and walked straight out. Sighing, I walk to my closet and grab a sports bra and some nike shorts before going to the bathroom. I change quickly, let my hair down and brush it, wash my face even if I had no makeup on, and took my contacts out.

I drag my feet to my bed and see Ross already under the covers on his phone. I turn the lamp off and climb under too, not bothering to ask if I could cuddle with him. I just wiggled my head under his arm and wrapped my own arm around his abdomen. His left hand let go of his phone to tangle in my hair.

"What are you doing?" I ask quietly.

"Texted my mom. She's kinda obsessed with the topic of me and you." The slightest smile appears on my face. "She's obsessed with love. Rydellington have been her number one since before they were dating. When Vanni came in the picture, she went nuts."

"She's really proud of all of you, isn't she." I mumble.

"Insanely." He replies. "Do you wanna go on a date Saturday night?" He asks.

"A date." I repeat. "What kind of a date?" I ask.

"I don't know, maybe drive around downtown and see some record shops. Then maybe head to the beach." Aw.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I murmur. "Have you thought a lot about that?" I ask.

"Maybe..." He trails off. I laugh a little and lift my head up. "But wear like jeans. Don't be too fancy because I'm not about that life." I chuckle again.

"Okay." I whisper. "Night." I slam my head back down and close my eyes.

"Night."

• holy shamoly i'm so sorry for this crap of a chapter. I promise the next chapter will be a lot better. okay, please vote, comment, and follow me!!!!!! love you, babes💜 •