Fading.HS.

6.

Of course I remember nothing, but his words filled me with curiosity; What could he have possibly said   that would leave him this flustered? I know it's wrong but I was desperate to find out why he was so worried, so I decided to play along,

"Yes we should talk, I suppose" To pull this off I have to pretend I know what we're talking about,

"I shouldn't have told you about my past I was just so drunk and you're a really good listener" he continued to speak, 

"I guess I should explain, you're probably quite confused, right?" feeling awful I responded, 

"Yeah you should fill in the blanks"

"So when I was sixteen, it got too much" he took a small breath and began to tell me the awaited story. 

"It wasn't that my life was bad, it was quite the opposite. It was normal, so...typical. I guess I was selfish back then and didn't think about the consequences of my actions" he looked at me, asking with his eyes for me to speak but I was too confused to speak, I didn't understand. Then he continued,

"So I left, I got on a bus and went where ever it took me, I went backpacking through America with some money my granddad left me, but it didn't help, nothing helped I just felt so... down, I guess I was going through that typical teenage stage where everything is meaningless but at the time it felt real. When I finally came back after nine months my mother was so happy but she'd told everyone I was away with relatives" I interrupted 

"Wait why didn't she call the police when she found out you were missing?"

"I left her a note, it was simple really. I told her I'd be back and I needed an adventure, she's always been the spontaneous type. I think she was glad, not because she wanted me gone or anything, I just think she wanted me to please myself and experience the world. It's funny really, coming back fixed me. I guess I just needed to understand the impact I have on my family.

I sat for a minute drinking my coffee silently before reading in his eyes that it was time to speak.

"I won't tell anyone" he looked disappointed and I couldn't work out why. Thats what he wanted right, for me to not tell anyone?

"Is that it?" he's statement baffled me, 

"I thought you'd at least be curious as to why I did it, and what I did there. Don't you have any questions?" I thought for a while, I did have questions, a part of me was truly curious about this boy but a stronger part of me was afraid, I was afraid to let him open up to me, If he does that he might of wanted me to do the same. I wasn't yet willing to do that quite yet.

"No it's fine I understand" a cloud of relief blew across his face which was followed by a look of awaited disappointment. In this moment I longed to understand what was happening in his pretty little head but I also knew a second thing; I knew I needed to leave.

We continued to make small meaningless conversation before our little 'date' came to an abrupt end. He drove me home in confutable silence and walked me to the door.

...

As I lay in complete naivety, the sound of falling rain broke the silence of the night; rain has always calmed me, ever since that night I believe its just a reminder of nature, we live in a world where everything so manmade but the rain is natural and untampered with.