Still Waters

Chapter 18

I rolled my eyes at him, "Anyway!"

We both started laughing and it lightened the mood considerably.

Collin suddenly became serious. "You know, I missed you a lot after we moved." He looked down and started picking at his nails. "I thought about you all the time."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I thought about how good I'd treat you if you ever gave me a second chance."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. So will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Give me a second chance." He looked sincerely into my eyes. "I promise I'll never treat you bad again, Tasha. You mean too much to me, you do..."

My dumbass believed him.

"Well, ok..."

Brrring! Almost saved by the bell.

Almost.

It was Kenney calling to remind me about going with him to Shipwreck the next night. I had promised him earlier in the week that I would read something this time. Before we could get a good conversation going, though, Collin started coughing and talking loudly in the background to no one in particular.

I sighed, agitated. "Look Kenney, I have to go."

"Yeah, sounds like it." He sounded uncharacteristically ticked off.

"I...I'll call you back later," I offered, trying to make things right.

"Naw, that's aight. Night, Tashi."

I felt bad, but he hung up before I had a chance to apologize.

As soon as I hung up, Collin asked "Was that ol' boy?" I wanted to tell him to mind his own business.

"Yeah, he was just calling to remind me about tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?"

"I'm doing something at Shipwreck."

"Doing what?"

"A poem. I mean...spoken word." I answered hesitantly. I already knew what he was about to say.

"A poem," he mocked sarcastically. "Since when did you start that sissified shit? You been hangin' around ol' dude too long. Or should I say ol' girl..." Collin thought he was funny, but the only thing he was doing was pissing me off. His words were totally uncalled for. But then again, that's just the type of jerk he was.

Like it or leave it.

"You don't even know what you're talking about," I snapped. "I've been writing since we were kids. Every day you say something ignorant like that to prove just how little you do know about me."

Collin quickly straightened up. "So, if it's all like that, why didn't you ever tell me about it before? You still mad about me makin' fun of that girlified notebook your boyfriend picked out?"

Already I was getting tired of this. "You always said poetry was corny."

"Oh. Well..." he went on without further explanation. "I was going to ask you to go out with me tomorrow. I bought tickets to this play..."

"A play?" I interrupted in surprise. "You don't even like plays."

"Yeah, but you do, so I got 'em." He shrugged. Every time I thought that I was about to write Collin off as being an insensitive jerk, he'd do something like that to show that he really was paying attention and really did care about what I liked.

"I...I wish you had told me sooner..." I stammered, thrown completely off.

Collin got mad. I guess he figured that I was about to immediately throw away my plans just because he decided that we should do something else at the last minute.

"Forget it," he said quickly with a wave of his hand. "I'll find someone else to go with, probably..."

Like a dummy, I played right into that little trap. I didn't even give him a chance to finish his sentence. For some reason, I didn't even want to know what he was about to say. If that little hoochie I met a registration was still around, I didn't want to know about it for one, and I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking that she could even step to me as far as Collin was concerned. He was mine and had always been mine.

"No, no." I interrupted him quickly. "I won't be long. We can leave right after I finish."

"We?" Collin's eyes flashed. "You're going with him?"

"Yeah," I stated the obvious.

"I thought I told you I don't like that fool," Collin said menacingly.

If he thought that this was about to be high school part two, he had another thing coming. I was a grown woman now. This fool wasn't about to tell me who I could or couldn't hang out with.

"So?" I snapped defiantly. "Kenney's my friend. You don't have to like him. Besides," I continued a little gentler, trying to appeal to Collin's sense of reason. "You don't even know Kenney. He's never given me any reason not to trust him..."

"So what are you saying?" Collin quickly cut in. "That I did? What the hell's that supposed to mean, Natasha? I'm not going to keep apologizing for that same mistake. I told you, I was a kid back then..."

"What?" I gasped, genuinely surprised. It never even crossed my mind to imply anything about Collin by talking about Kenney. What was this fool even getting so worked up about? Some things never change. "That's not even what I meant at all. I'm just sayin..."

He cut me off. "Sorry, sorry. You're right. I didn't mean to go off like that. It's just, I...just don't like you holding that stuff against me. We were just kids. I didn't even like that girl you saw me with." When I got quiet, he came over to me. "Tasha?"

"What?"

"Let's stop talking about old stuff, ok?"

"Alright."

He took a deep breath. "Good. So," he stood up and started walking towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow night then?"

"Ok."

"Goodnight." He gave me a kiss on the cheek.

What I said was, "Goodnight," but there was something keeping me from ushering him out the door. Something in his eyes that kept mine from looking away. He stepped closer to me.

"Hey I..." his voice trailed off. Then he took another breath. "I love you." I could tell that he meant it by the way he immediately looked away.

"I love you, too," I answered and didn't pull away when he kissed me, for real this time.

I didn't even pull away when his kisses became more passionate and he started backing me up towards the bed. I definitely didn't pull away when he gently placed his hands on my hips and ran his thumb across my belly button. He knew that was my spot. But when the only place left for me to go was to fall back onto the bed with him, an alarm went off inside of me and I suddenly sat up.

"Wait." I put my hand up and sort of moved him off of me. "I...I can't do this." I couldn't read his eyes when he pulled away and sat up on the bed beside me. "I'm sorry," I whispered, a little afraid that I had pissed him off again, but more embarrassed than anything else.

He smiled and took my hand. "It's ok. There's no rush." He trailed his fingers along my cheek. "We have all the time in the world. I'd never try to force you to do anything you weren't ready to do. You already know that, Natasha. You know me." He smiled at me and my heart fluttered just like it used to when we were kids. I did know him, and he knew me, too. Then he stood up and pulled me with him. "I love you."

With a kiss on the cheek Collin left my room, and with a ten second speech, he made me fall completely in love with him all over again.