Sex, Love, and Other Mishaps

Chapter 28

"Johnny? You awake?" Alicia cooed softly in his ear, and Johnny still didn't move. "Johnny? Johnny?" Alicia blew a stream of air into his ear, and he still didn't move.

"Babe. I've got bacon. And I cooked it naked."

Johnny sat up, and spun around wildly. "Alrighty then, I'm awake! Where's the nude...bacon." His voice trailed off as he saw Alicia smirking at him with a limp slice of turkey bacon. "But... you're not naked."

"Well, no shit. Darling, listen. I've got a good idea about how to get rid of Dianne. But first, we need to get Dex and Blair. They aren't answering their phones."

Johnny grinned slightly, and took the piece of bacon from her hand. Taking a bite, Johnny turned to look at her. "How much do you wanna bet she's giving him pity sex right now?"

Alicia just looked at him. "Ew. Now get dressed. We have a plan to concoct."

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"No! I won't do do it! I refuse!" Blair shouted, and went at Alicia with a raised fist. "I will NOT lose my child because of some harlot who thinks she can walk in here and run over my life, and threaten my unborn child."

Alicia sighed, and looked pleadingly at Dex.

Dex stood up, and put his arms around her shaking shoulders. "Blair, honey, I know this is hard. But I need you to please, be strong for me. And for your child. Who I hope is a girl, mind you. I want a mini Blair around."

Blair sobbed, and her shoulders trembled more. "I love you, but I'm not risking my life for you. Or for Dianne, for that matter. You can go and suck it."

Alicia couldn't believe it. They hadn't even told her the plan, and Blair was acting like a whiny high school girl afraid of a math test. "Son of a bitch! Would you just LISTEN!"

Everyone in the room jumped, and looked at Alicia, who had turned a vibrant shade of bright pink from her anger. Calmly, Alicia sat down, and propped her Manolo-clad feet on her desk. A muscle jumped on the side of her forehead as she struggled to calm down, and not hurt Blair for her obvious ignorance.

"Blair. Damn. Calm your tits. I'm gonna explain now, and you need to listen." Alicia paused dramatically, and looked at Johnny with an exaggerated look of fear.

"Honey, just keep talking. Don't kill Blair."

"You have to lose your unborn child. And you have to die. Dianne must be convinced, and Dex must be convinced. If he's convinced, then she will be.

"Unfortunately, I would've gone to the police a lot sooner, but Dianne knows of Dex's shady past and would not hesitate to use it against his company. Dex must get angry, and push you down the stairs. Preferably in my home, I'm not afraid to clean up blood. But, to convince her that you are dead, you must die by slitting your wrists. We can name a cadaver after you by using DNA and dental records, it's quite easy to hack into their systems."

Dex's jaw dropped, and looked at Alicia in stunned silence, as did everyone else.

"Oh, come on, I'm a mathematical genius. Of course I can hack computers! Bit of a stereotype, but it's better than nothing. I'm your big advantage here.

"Dex. You cannot know when she dies. It will be a shock, and you cannot reveal that you know anything. So. To keep the plan safe, get your ass out of here. Go on a coffee run. I'll take a venti green tea frapuccino and three vanilla bean scones. Everyone else?"

Alicia pulled out her wallet, but before she could fish out a twenty-dollar bill, Dex stood up and slammed his hands on her desk. "What the actual fuck? I am allowed to know how she dies! I will NOT sit there idly, and twiddle my thumbs while my girlfriend DIES!"

Alicia stood up,and pushed her hands onto Dex's shoulders, and lowered him down into his chair. "She'll be safe. Just trust me! Shit. Go get me my sugar, I want calories! Off you go, chop chop!"

Dex grumbled, and took the money from Johnny and Alicia, and exited.

Alicia spun around, and looked at a shell-shocked Blair. "OK. I lied during the entire thing. This is actually what's gonna happen... and don't worry about cadavers or press releases. I'll take care of the whole thing."

Blair looked up, and her eyes were red. "Promise me my child will not get hurt. Promise me. Swear on your love for Johnny, that my child will not die." Her voice caught in her throat, and was drowned out by a phlegm-filled sob.

Johnny and Alicia looked at each other, and spoke in unison. "I promise."

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Dex shifted his keys in his hands, as he tried to juggle a tray of drinks and a bag of goodies from Starbucks. Admittedly, his mind was distracted, but there was no excuse for spilling Blair's vanilla bean frapuccino. With twice the amount of whipped cream. He sighed, and smiled at the large frosty drink. Pregnant women.

Dex swung open the door to his office, and gasped slightly when he saw what was inside.

Nothing. Alicia, Blair, Johnny... all were gone, except for a note on his desk that smelled like Alicia's Acqua di Gioia.

Dex,

I'm so sorry. But we can't let her near you. She knows the plan, and she herself will barely be able to go through with it. When she dies, it will look real. It will feel real. Just keep calm,and say nothing. I want Dianne to get her ass out of here. I want to drink coffee in the morning, with Johnny rubbing my feet before I go and teach Calculus. I want a normal-ish life. But it could never be normal with you.

Dex. Another secret for you. Don't tell. Johnny doesn't know, Blair doesn't know, and Dawn has absolutely no idea.

I'm pregnant. Have been for about 8 weeks. I went to Caltech, and used my ex-professor status to use an ultrasound machine in the biology lab. I'm hoping to have twin girls, with gold hair like Johnny, and my brown eyes.

After this is all done, I want you to keep this a secret. If Blair knows, I will know it was you,and I will be upset with you beyond measure. If you think what Dianne did was bad, wait until you piss me off. You bitch.

I'm only telling you because I couldn't wait any longer to not say anything. I want you and Blair to be the godparents. Just in case. You never know what will happen.

And I will always love you, even if it's just a little bit. The Porsche, the club, everything. Dear memories to be treasured forever.

Love, Alicia

Dex sighed, and stared at the paper. Pregnant. It had only seemed like yesterday, when he had met the fiery blonde with a passion for integrals. And she was going to be a mom. Wow.

"Oh damn... Blair! I completely forgot about Blair!"

What the hell had Alicia planned?

A/N

Edited by Dawn.