Sex, Love, and Other Mishaps

Chapter 26

"Jesus fucking Christ. He went to a strip club?"

Alicia nodded, and looked at her sister with a bland look. "Dex took him. And they got sloppy drunk. Did you know that Johnny can silently vomit? It's incredible, actually."

Dawn smiled, and looked at Alicia. "Actually, I didn't know that. But do you remember that time in Mexico when you got so seasick? That was the funniest shit ever!"

Alicia smacked Dawn, and just glared at her. "It wasn't funny! Well, not that much. But what am I going to do about Dianne? Blair's heart is broken. Dex is an asshole. And I'm hungover. Why did you drag my ass out of bed?"

"Honey, you were out of bed. I didn't do anything. I just offered to pay for coffee. And I'm so glad I came down for a visit. Honestly, it's been too long." Dawn grinned, and the twins looked at each other with mirrored glances.

Alicia's twin sister had lived in LA since childhood, but had moved to San Francisco for college. She had graduated from Stanford with a degree in molecular biology, and had worked in the labs ever since. Once every few months, she would drive down and visit for a week. Alicia lived for those few moments she got to spend with her sister. Webcams just didn't cut it. Sisterhood didn't really work long distance.

Dawn sipped her frapuccino, and looked at Alicia with a pensive, faraway look. "I think you should just kill her. Saves time. There are some great non-traceable poisons that can be made with ingredients from a regular kitchen. I can teach you, if you like."

Alicia stared, and tried to comprehend what her sister had just said. "Kill her? With poison? Dude. And how am I supposed to do that, exactly? And how the hell do you know about making toxins in a freaking kitchen?"

"I learned in high school from my Chem teacher. And I did a bit of Googling for my college thesis."

"Well, shit. Any non-toxic ones? That'll just, you know, knock her out for a bit? Something normal-ish?"

"I'll get back to you on that." With that statement, the two sisters stood up in sync, and walked to Alicia's Prius. "By the way, I'm so sorry that you got into a car accident. I like this car better anyway, a Mercedes didn't seem practical."

Alicia just shrugged, and started her car. "It was comfy. I like comfort." They both giggled, and drove away.

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"Dex, honey. You can't expect me to leave so abruptly. I've only just started to get to know your little friends." Dianne's voice dripped with honey, but was laced with enough vinegar so Dex could tell the truth from the fiction.

"And you don't need to know any more about her. Let Blair live peacefully. With my child, comfortably. Please. I'm begging you."

Dianne smiled, and turned on her Louboutin heel. "Darling. You know I can't let that happen. It's just not fun that way! I get bored so easily. But then again, you know that, don't you?"

Dex swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Yes, I know that more than anyone. What do you want?"

Slipping her dress over her head, Dianne leaned to Dex's ear. "I want you. I want your dick inside of me. I want you to fuck me hard. Oh, pretend I'm Blair, if it's necessary. No one has to know. It'll be our little...secret." Dianne trailed a blood-red fingernail down Dex's smooth chest, and Dex audibly gulped.

"It can't just be about sex. What's the catch?"

"I want children. Power. Money. And you can give me it all. If you don't...well, let's just see what happens to pretty little Miss Davenport, shall we?" In her fingers, Dianne held a picture of Blair, leaving a yoga session, her baby bump not yet discernable underneath her ribbed wife beater.

The snick of a cigarette lighter whipped through the room, and Diane laughed as she brought the flame up to Blair's picture, and burned it.

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"Fuck me." Johnny grinned, and looked at Alicia. "You...what? Are you serious?"

Alicia nodded. "Dawn's here, and she gave me some pretty good adivce. So. This is me doing what she said." Alicia leaned in, and kissed Johnny lightly. "As soon as you apologize, of course."

Johnny's eyes widened. "Holy shit. Leesh. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll never look at strippers again, unless it's you giving me a strip tease. Which you haven't done in a while, mind you. I miss that."

"Good. We're getting somewhere. Tell me why you were crying this morning."

Johnny looked at the floor, and spoke in a barely audible tone. "If I ever hurt you, I'd die. I could never stand to hurt you as much as Dex has hurt Blair. I promise to never hurt you. I love you. So much it hurts, right here in my heart." Johnny thumped his chest, over his heart.

Alicia gently took Johnny's palm in hers, and placed a chaste kiss on his pale wrist. "You would never hurt me. You haven't. You can hardly stand to kill a spider, much less hurt me."

She leaned in, and placed her hands on Johnny's shoulders. "I love you, Johnathan Harlan."

Johnny smiled. "And I love you, Alicia Anne Ronaldo."