Life (as i know it)

Summer

I really love summer. The sunshine. The freedom. The release. The way that the sun lingers in the sky, fighting to stay above the horizon for those few minutes more, as if it’s as afraid of leaving us in the dark as we are of being in it. Summer is a lot to me, like harvest season or late nights filled with twinkling stars or the county fair and all the greasy food it has to offer. Summer is spending long nights watching movies and reading books and family vacations to California and time with friends to eat ice cream and hang out at the park or the mall.

And then there’s school. And the days get shorter and the sun, so valiant and fearless before, is a traitor and looks smaller and bleaker every day. And now instead of eating ice cream or watching a movie or spending time with my family, I’m locked in a classroom with a woman who doesn’t know me and doesn’t care to. I’m questioned and prodded and provoked and I spend all my time in stress and anger.

11:38 pm

The glowing red digital characters on my clocks screen do not waver and I am sure of what I am seeing and feeling right now. Twenty two minutes. Less than half an hour before my summer break is at its end.

11:43 pm

                 I sit on my bed, a beautiful warm summer night just outside my window, for the next twenty minutes watching as the clock counts the time away, a pit slowly building in my stomach as I think of the coming weeks.

11:56pm

                 I wish I could run away. I wish I wasn’t so bound by whatever obligation I feel to better myself through so-called education.

11:59 pm

So it’s come. Summer is dying, like dragon being slain by knight. It is the end of something magical and great and powerful. Something perfect.

12:00 am

I passed out on my bed, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to cut off my own self inflicted depression. Trying to remember that summer will come again. Trying to remember it’s not dead forever. 

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I think I said everything I really wanted to say up there.

Dedicated to Smilies because I'm uploading this the day before she starts school again.

Also, there's a song on the side from Panic! at the Disco called The Calendar which seemed to go right along with this topic.

-FlyOn