Luna's WP Responses

The Hero of Kvatch

[EU] (Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion) The Dark Brotherhood (pre or post purification) discovers that it's newest recruit who has been rising through the ranks is also the Archmage, The Grey Fox, and the Hero of Kvatch.

"You mean you really never realized? I'm wearing the Archmage's Robes right now!"

"Well, I just... I don't know, I thought the outfit was one of those cheap replicas you can buy at the tourist's shops in Imperial City."

"But they're glowing and shimmering. Clearly magical. And also they still have that old man smell from the last Archmage."

"I just... I guess I never noticed that."

"Ok... well, what about the Grey Cowl? I mean, it belonged to Nocturnal herself! There's no way that could be a fake."

"Well I didn't know what it was. I mean, I've seen people from Bruma before, so I figured you were just ugly and wanted a mask to hide your face or something."

"No, it's the real deal. And I'd also watch those snide little insults, given that I'm Guildmaster in the Fighting Guild."

"By Sheogorath's Tongue, man! What aren't you? Next you're going to tell me that you're, like, Martin the Savior's best friend or something!"

"Errr... well, yeah, kind of. We were pretty tight. See, me and his dad - You know, Emperor Urial Septim? - we escaped through the Imperial City's sewers this one time, and..."

"I was being sarcastic! You seriously knew both of them? By the Nine, how old are you? I mean, doesn't someone have to work for like an entire lifetime of study and practice to become Archmage?"

"No, no. It took me.... I dunno, like a day or so? You know, now that I think about it, it took just about as long as it took me to become the Listener here in the Dark Fraternity."

"Dark Brotherhood."

"Right, right. Sorry."

"I seriously can't believe this. My own father spent his entire life mastering just illusion magic, and you're telling me that you became Archmage in a day? HOW?"

"It was pretty easy, actually. The last Archmage vanished into a soul gem or something. I don't remember; I wasn't paying attention. Let's see... I ran a bunch of errands, and then they had me kill some King of Worms guy... you know, the funny part was that I never even used magic on him! It just took a few hits from the good old battleaxe, and boom! They promoted me."

"You've got to be kidding me. I kill people all the time! That's all you had to do?"

"Yeah. I can barely even do a lightning spell. Kind of messed up, huh? I bet there are a ton of mages back there who really wanted that job. Really sucks for them."

"Wow. This is just... wow. So you are simultaneously the Listener, the Archmage, the Guildmaster, and the Hero of Kvatch!? That's just... damn."

"Yeah. It's been a pretty busy month."

"I just... man, we've got to line up with a fight between you and the Grand Champion of the Arena! He's killed, like, everyone that they send at him. He's probably the only person in Cyrodiil that'll give you a run for your money."

"Yeah... about that..."

"Oh, come on!"