Lucid

LA

I'm in a car. An old one, but I'm not sure what kind. I'm in the backseat of the car, unable to see the driver. I look for a seatbelt, but there are none. I have no idea where we are driving. It's very dark out, though my watch says 4:15PM. I assume the windows are tinted. We appear to be on a road somewhere in a rustic place, maybe a lesser-traveled road of California, as the images in my brain determine.

I notice as we drive that several cars stop alongside the road. I see no people to indicate that the cars have owners. The majority of them are station wagons with old, rusted off parts and flat tires. Despite this, I am absolutely calm and have no anxiety whatsoever. I've been here for hours. I've tried talking to the driver, but there was no answer. The leather seat I sit in is cracked and old, so I begin to mess with it, picking at it and such. I am the child who continually asks if we're there yet.

The car stops. The doors do not unlock, so I am still mainly unable to see anything. I manage to unlock the door by myself and get out. Outside the driver's door stands a blonde woman of 54 or so, and she smiles at me. I ask where we are, but she just keeps smiling. I ignore her and look around. There are people, now, people that I didn't see before. They stood among the cacti and stared into the sky. I mimick them.

My mortality comes and smacks me in the face. Staring back at me from above is a planet. No, hundreds of them! All of them differently colored, all of them giant and terrifying. The people around me kneel with respect. The forms seem to be moving closer. Their movement does not scare me. I know I am better than them. I know I am better because I can look them in the eye and say it. They cannot steal my dignity because I have none to work with. They cannot create any faith because my mind is blank. I am not in awe, I am disgusted. They are bigger than I, yes. They are more stable. But I know things they wouldn't think of. Not only can I challenge the system, but I can make it regret its own authority! No, I say, I will not give in! I am not a drone, I am not a pawn, I am not a slave or a servant! I require no reward, because I am not playing along.

I am my own.