the freshman fifteen
chapisode 2:
walk of shame
by ean weslynn
@eanweslynn
www.eanweslynn.com
chloe clark, editor
thomas h. jones, publishing assistant
these violent delights have violent ends
and in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
which as they kiss consume.
--romeo and juliet
-
dorm courtyard
7:00am
the first day of class
huntar took his time crossing the dorm courtyard. he smiled at his fellow residents. he smiled at a splash of fresh vomit by a trash can. he even smiled at john johnson. huntar smiled because he felt like garbage; he was only happy when it rains. huntar smiled because he felt energized, revitalized, devirginized. huntar felt indestructible.
before opening the door to the cafeteria, huntar caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass, the duct tape bandage still on his forehead. it had stopped hurting a while ago, but taking it off was going to make it start again. plus, he didn't have any bandages in the dorm room. bernard probably had some, but he was too busy to return the favor of playing nurse.
huntar made his first pass through the food line, keeping an eye out for lukas or louise. they all had a.m. lectures, part of the freshman misfortune that huntar had been hearing about. not this freshman. this freshman just got real lucky. sure, he wanted to hear about their nights, but mostly he wanted to tell them about his—long-form style. huntar was okay starting college without his virginity. he was even okay with starting college with prophecy perks. however, huntar was not okay with starting college with no means of contacting his friends to update them on the status of his virginity and prophecy perks. lukas really needed to figure out how to keep their electronics working, otherwise he was going to have to emp to heat up ramen-water.
after the surly, curly lunch lady swiped his student id, huntar sought out his friends at their table from the day before. it was occupied by the set up to a joke: a nerdy asian; one cool, nerdy asian; a stoner; and a stoider are all eating breakfast when… huntar tried to come up with a punch line, but he was too content to be comedic; he was content with this conclusion. huntar chose a table near their booth and enjoyed the time alone with his thoughts. well, time alone with three plain bagels, a waffle, scrambled eggs, french toast sticks, milk, orange juice, and his thoughts. it was there in that moment, where he had never felt closer to fine, that he allowed himself to think about the prophecy.
find the fifteen freshman, peep their perks, yadda-yadda-yadda save the world. it was pretty straight forward as prophecies go, not that huntar knew of anyone else with a real-life prophecy—or a prophecy perk. though, he supposed it would just be a perk, if they didn't have a prophecy.
huntar knew there had to be something more to the prophecy. he wasn't stupid; however, he was blackout drunk, when he learned all of this. not only did he black out part of the conversation, but apparently he'd blacked out meeting the first frosh—either that or emping came free with purchase.
