Still Waters

Chapter 16

I looked up at Collin and realized that at that stage in the game, Kenney and I could still go either way. And the chances of me having to fight my way into Kenney's final cut were...immense. I wasn't really down for a bunch of second stringing, so...

Collin, on the other hand, was right there. And I didn't see anyone else around, either, trying to take my spot. No one that had a chance, anyway. Collin, I knew for sure, was still mine...if I wanted him. He had already made that very clear. Not only that, but I knew without a doubt that he had always been mine.

That's the one thing that I never could say about Kenney. Kenney was never mine.

Collin was apparently staying with his dad, too, the whole summer, when I knew very well that he hadn't even been over there to visit his dad in years. It wasn't lost on me that Collin went out of his way to stay with the father that he hated, just to get a chance to be put in the game, while all Kenney ever did was act like he invented the game.

And Collin was playing to win, too. As usual.

For the next few weeks, Collin was always coming around embarrassing the crap out of me with his flowers and "please baby I still love you give me another chance" apologies. Some of them were even in front of my parents! Of course, my father was never too impressed with a begging man and neither was I, but my mother, on the other hand, had always loved Collin anyway. Even when we were little. She just thought he was the cutest little thing ever. All she ever asked me about when we were growing up was "that little Collin." My mom just loved the hell out of that boy. And why wouldn't she? Collin knew how to give everyone exactly the side of him that they wanted to see. Including me.

I should have known that he was playing to win from the very beginning, though, the way he used to always help my dad outside with the car in the middle of July - when I already knew that he hated being out in the heat even more than I did.

And so, just like old times, here he was again, conveniently outside every time I was...just like when we were kids. And there I was, not blowing him off, but finding myself enjoying his company more and more. At first, I was probably hanging out with him more for nostalgia's sake than anything, but let me tell you, hormones will get you caught. up. For real. I mean, one minute you hate somebody and the next minute...well, you know what it is.

Here's the thing...on the one hand, I had this great guy who was totally into me...and every other hot ass walking around on campus. But then on the other hand, I had this other guy who was totally into me...and he had made it all about me since the first grade. We had history together, and old feelings that didn't hesitate to resurface once we put our little high school drama behind us. Collin had always made it very clear exactly what he wanted, and that he only wanted it from me. Kenney had always made what he wanted clear, too, but he also never tried to hide the fact that he could and did get it from anywhere. Well, not anywhere, but you know what I mean.

So you tell me, which one would you choose?

Eventually, the answer became undeniable when one day I found myself sitting out at the creek with Collin, asking him to listen to something that I had written. I didn't think it was very good and wanted to get a second opinion. He didn't look too enthusiastic about listening to anything at all for too long, but agreed to sit still long enough to hear it anyway. At that time, he was still trying to get in, if you know what I mean. So he probably would have done anything that I asked him to do right then.

"Alright." I opened the notebook that Kenney had gotten me a few months earlier.

"That is the girliest thing I've ever seen. Where did you get this from?" Collin asked, snatching the book away from me and bending the hand-sewn binding all the way back to get a closer inspection.