Mikazuki's return sent a ripple of shock and terror through the entire estate. Whispers filled every corner of the house, all of them shadowed by morbid hopelessness. For three long and solemn days, Death had stalked their halls, the feel of its icy cold breath an omen of ill news. The Healer, in his relentlessness, waged war with the unseen spirit, pulling Mikazuki back from the cusp of oblivion.
When word of Mikazuki's survival had reached everyone's ears, the chorus of cheers had shaken the very foundation of the massive house. Kogitsune had been happier than anyone in the entire estate, but as his fellow Swords embraced each other in joy and sweet relief, Kogitsune was engulfed by a wave of guilt. Mikazuki had almost died, and it was his fault.
"Did you hear me, Kogi-kun?"
Kogitsune blinked, turning towards the intrusive voice. Hana stared at him expectantly, her expression filled with concern.
"I'm sorry," he replied. "Did you say something?"
Hana frowned, disappointment bright in her pale blue gaze. "I asked if you wanted to go into town this evening. The festival begins tonight."
Kogitsune ran a hand through his hair, the thought of going out exhausting him to the core. "If you don't mind, I think I'll pass. Why don't you ask one of your friends to go with you instead?"
"I suppose I could ask Mai-chan to go, but I thought..." She paused, giving Kogitsune a pleading look.
"I know I promised to take you, it's just... with everything that's happened lately, I... I need some time to process."
Hana's eyes flashed with what looked like anger, but the emotion was gone before Kogitsune could identify it.
"What happened to Mikazuki-san wasn't your fault," she said stiffly. "It's been over a month since his return. How long are you going to punish yourself?"
"You don't understand."
"I'm trying to," she replied in exasperation. "But every time I mention his name you shut down. I thought you were over him, but the longer you sit here brooding, the more I start to realize the truth."
"And what truth is that?" Kogitsune asked in irritation.
"That you still love him."
Kogitsune stared at the beautiful woman sitting before him. She was perfect in nearly every way. Sweet natured and understanding, she was exactly the kind of woman any man would dream of marrying. Any man expect for Kogitsune...
"You knew what you were getting into when we started this," Kogitsune began. "I told you from the beginning I couldn't make you any promises."
"I know that, but..."
"Do you?" Kogitsune asked, cutting her off. "I'm starting to think you don't. If you did, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."
"Can you blame me for wanting a future with you?" she asked frigidly. "We're good together. Why shouldn't I hope for something more?"
Kogitsune closed his eyes, rubbing them with his thumb and forefinger. He liked Hana, enjoyed her company. But he knew now that he could never give her what she hoped for. When it came to love, Kogitsune had already given his heart and soul to someone else. He had nothing to offer her or anyone for that matter. Perhaps one day Kogitsune would learn to love another, but that day wasn't today and that person wasn't Hana.
Kogitsune reached out and took her hand in his. "I'm so sorry, Hana, but I can't give you what you want. I care about you and your happiness, but I can't give you the companionship you deserve. I thought you understood that, but I see now you and I were never meant to be more than friends."
Hana snatched her hand free, and this time when her eyes flashed, Kogitsune could tell it was anger.
"You are cruel," she hissed. "I would have given you anything, but all this time you were simply using me to make yourself feel better! And you have the nerve to call Mikazuki-san selfish. You're no better than he is. If you ask me, you deserve each other."
Kogitsune had the good grace to feel bad for the pain he'd caused Hana, but it was because of her chastisement that he realized the truth in this moment. He and Mikazuki did deserve each other. In fact, Kogitsune was quite sure they were meant to be all along. As content as he'd been with Hana, Kogitsune could now say that he would rather have one good day with Mikazuki, than a thousand good days with the woman sitting just a few inches away.
"I think you're right," Kogitsune said, climbing to his feet and offering to help Hana up. "I just wish I hadn't had hurt you in order to figure that out. Words will never be able to express how truly sorry I am, Hana. I won't be foolish enough to ask for your forgiveness, but I will continue to hope for it."
Hana took Kogitsune's hand, rising gracefully to her feet. "I will grant you my forgiveness, Kogitsunemaru-san. For it will be the last bit of hope you will have in the days to come."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Hana's demeanor turned icy cold, a small smile playing on her lips. "I know a secret about your precious Mikazuki," she answered, leaning up as if to kiss Kogitsune on cheek. "If I may, I suggest you spend as much time with him as you can."
Kogitsune grabbed Hana by her shoulders, pushing her away. "If you mean to harm Mikazuki, so help me, I'll..."
"I have no intentions of harming him," she answered dryly, breaking free of Kogitsune's grip. "If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what he's going to do to himself. Or rather, what Izo-sama intends to do for him."
"Say what you have to say, and be done with it," Kogitsune demanded. "I will not indulge your petty jealousy any longer than I have to."
Hana grit her teeth in silent rage, her true colors now proudly on display. "You will come back to me," she hissed, "crawling on your knees! The moment Mikazuki returns to the sword, you'll beg me to..."
"What?" Kogitsune exclaimed, his mind unable to process Hana's inadvertent revelation.
"You heard me," she smirked. "Izo-sama intends to place Mikazuki's spirit back into the sword, so the epiphany you just had about you and beloved is now irrelevant. Whatever future you thought you two were going to have was over before it even started."
