Mikazuki weaved through the rows of tents, moving with absentminded purpose towards his own secluded shelter at the edge of camp. His exhaustion ran bone deep, making the simple act of lifting his feet nearly impossible. But after a 3 month campaign of seemingly endless battles, it was to be expected.
Luckily for Mikazuki, the exhaustion over-shadowed the pain of his injuries. New and old, they covered nearly every inch of his body, none of which he'd visited the Healer for. A trip to the healing tent would mean an end to his suffering, and the exhaustion and pain were the only things keeping the agony of his broken heart at bay.
Mikazuki's physical pain put an end to his emotional anguish, numbing his heart and making it impossible to focus on anything but the torments of the flesh. He existed in a quiet and somewhat comforting shroud of abject interest, temporarily erasing all traces of Kogitsune from his heart and mind. In essence, Mikazuki used his pain and exhaustion as a shield, blocking out everything and everyone. There, in the hollow of his shell, he waited...
"Oy, Jiji!"
Mikazuki turned slowly at the sound of his name, recognizing the baritone voice immediately. Nihongou jogged towards him, a smile on his handsome face. Too tired to speak, Mikazuki nodded his head in silent greeting. He did his best to return Nihongou's smile, but that required far too much effort on his part.
"You eat yet?" Nihongou asked, concern filling his dark grey eyes.
Mikazuki shook his head, cringing at the thought of food.
Nihongou clucked his tongue in rebuke. "Figured as much," he replied, frowning down at Mikazuki. "I made sure to save you a bowl just in case. Come by the fire and we can eat with the others."
"Not hungry," Mikazuki answered, turning to leave. He had no interest in being social. A fact the hard-headed Yari had trouble understanding.
Nihongou grabbed Mikazuki's arm to stop him, frustration etched in his stern expression. "You need to eat, Jiji. If you keep on like this you won't make it through the next battle."
Mikazuki snatched his arm from the Yari's grip, stumbling backwards a step before regaining his balance. "Not. Hungry." Mikazuki repeated, enunciating the words for absolute clarity.
"Then let me take you to the Healer at least. Maybe he's got a tonic or remedy that can get your appetite back. While we're there, we can see if he has something to help you sleep as well."
"I sleep fine," Mikazuki mumbled, turning to leave once more.
Nihongou dove in front of him so fast, Mikazuki didn't have a chance to stop. He slammed into the Yari's massive frame, setting his brittle bones vibrating. If Nihongou hadn't reached out to catch him, Mikazuki would have tumbled to the ground.
"I wish you could see yourself right now," Nihongou said, his voice taking on a pleading tone. "You're not but skin and bones! You're like a feather in the wind, tossed about by the slightest puff of air!"
Mikazuki tried to push the male away, but he couldn't summon the strength he needed to push outward.
"Look at you!" Nihongou continued. "You can't even defend yourself! How you gonna protect yourself in battle?"
Mikazuki jumped back, a surge of anger-fueled adrenaline flooding his system. His sword was in his hand in seconds, the air from the unsheathing ruffling Nihongou's raven hair. He held the tip of the blade at the Yari's throat. One false move and the sword would pierce the delicate flesh.
Mikazuki's ice blue gaze narrowed on the towering male. "Shall I show you?" he bit out.
Nihongou raised his hands in surrender, taking a cautious step back. "Easy now, Jiji. I meant no harm. I'm just worried about you is all. You hardly eat, and every night I see you walking through the camp like a bloody ghost. You're my friend. I just wanna help you."
"I don't need your help," Mikazuki hissed, his arm trembling under the weight of his sword. "And we're not friends."
Nihongou winced at Mikazuki's words, his shoulders slumping at the brutal rejection. Mikazuki immediately felt guilty, wanting to apologize, but not sure how. In truth, he liked Nihongou. The male was easy to get along with and comfortable to be around. Mikazuki couldn't quite explain it, but some unnamed force always drew them together. There was a familiarity between them, almost as if they recognized the same pain buried in each other's souls.
Mikazuki lowered his sword, closing his eyes and taking a moment to calm himself. When he opened them again, Nihongou was still standing in front of him, but instead of one, there was two of him. Mikazuki blinked in confusion, shaking his head to clear his vision. This only made it worse since now there were four Nihongou's.
"Jiji, are you ok?"
Mikazuki heard the question, but it sounded muffled and far away, almost as if someone had shoved his head under water. Mikazuki looked down at his sword, wondering how the blade had become so heavy. The hilt slipped from his fingertips, falling to the ground in slow motion.
Mikazuki lifted his head once more, relieved to find only one Nihongou this time. Unfortunately, the Yari seemed to be growing further and further away. Mikazuki lifted his hand, reaching out for his comrade in vain. His mind was immersed in the sensation of falling, the weight of his body pulling him to the ground.
This was it. The moment Mikazuki had been waiting for. Death had finally come, bringing with it blissful release. No more pain, no more exhaustion. No more running away from his broken heart.
Day after excruciating day, Mikazuki had considered ending it himself, thrusting his blade up and into the cavity of his chest and waiting until his blood and life force had drained from his body. Other days he considered allowing his enemy to do the job for him, but his pride wouldn't allow him to yield to the adversaries he and his comrades fought so fiercely to suppress.
In the end, Mikazuki resigned himself to the slow decay of life, depriving himself of the nutrients necessary to sustain his existence. It numbed his heartache, while at the same time luring him further and further down the path to non-existence. It was a slow sort of torture, tantamount to an agony few would ever experience. But, after a seemingly endless eternity in purgatory, Mikazuki had reached the end. He was finally free...
