Harry Styles Imagines

Love you, goodbye

This is a part two to, Journal entry #998

You grabbed your suitcases and walked down the hall of the airport.  Everything you ever needed was in these suitcases.  Tears were currently rolling off your chin as you thought of him.  He's been on your mind since you woke up this morning.  You had to leave him today... for good.  It was best for the both of you. 

He never showed up at your house and you're happy he didn't.  You would've stayed if he did.  From the time you first woke up to now he was the only thing on your mind.  It was almost like someone yelling his name in your ear constantly. 

You tried your best to hold your composure as you walked down the hall.  The ticket in your hand as you neared the doors to step on the plane. 

Only a few seconds and he's history. 

Just as you were about to hand the kind lady the ticket, you heard your name being called.  You decided to ignore it, knowing it was for the best.  It was all in your imagination.  Your mind was playing tricks on you because your heart wanted you to stay.  But deep down, you knew you had to leave. 

Suddenly, you felt your body being turned around.  You were sobbing at this point because you knew who it was.  His scent instantly relaxed you. 

"I went to your house and you weren't there.  Figured you be here." He whispered in your ear.  Not on your tears but his mixed with yours as the fell on the ground. 

This isn't healthy.  This thing we have isn't healthy.

You pushed your body off his and took a few steps back.  It was time to be strong and stand up for yourself.  You didn't dare look up though.  His eyes were already burning a hole through you. 

"Say something," he spoke, his voice raspy from crying. 

You shook your head in response, not finding the words to say.  You didn't want to screw things up even more than how it was already. 

He gripped your shoulders and pulled you close to him, "Say something."

"I can't," you choked out into a whisper.  "I can't." You said louder, finally finding courage. 

"You can, you just choose to not say anything." His head rested upon yours and his arms wrapped around your waist. 

"It's for the best, Harry, and you know that." You cried onto his shoulder.  Your arms wrapped around his neck and you pulled him close.  "I can't do this anymore..."

"Can't do what?"

"I can't let you break my heart any longer," you pulled back and grabbed your suitcases.  You couldn't handle the pain much more.

He grabbed your wrist and yanked the suitcases from your hands.  His stare made you cry more.  You couldn't hold it back anymore.  It was over.  You were officially broken. 

Instead of pulling away from him, you pulled out the journals you wrote in almost every night.  You flipped to the very last entry you wrote to him, #999.

You took a deep breath and began reading out loud to him.  You were finally able to tell him everything. 

"You were simply just another face before we met.  I'd see you walk around but thought nothing of it.  My hairs would stand up on the back of my neck, but that was the only reaction I had when I looked at you. 

The way you held yourself through those halls amazed me.  It was almost as if you didn't give a care in the world, but you did.  I could see right through that 'I don't care' image. 

There will never be a day that I regret making conversation with you the very first time.  I knew you'd change my life forever and you did just that. 

I have many things to say to you but only one of those really matter.  This gives me hope that maybe one day you'll finally realize I'll always be here.  Maybe you'll feel the same way about me that I do for you. 

I could continue to talk about this for hours and beat around the bush or I could get right to the point.  So here it is:

I Love You, Harry Edward Styles.  I'm in love with you.

I'll continue to love you til' the end of time.  But right now, I need to say goodbye.  I'm handing over this journal to you so you can read all of the adventures we went through together and all the feelings I've had for you and how much they've grown throughout the years. 

This is the last time you'll receive anything from me for the next several years or maybe forever.  I need to go on my own way and figure myself out.  I need to find myself.  If you ever feel hurt by this, just remember that this is hurting me much more than it is you. 

Farewell, my love, and let time take you to magical places.  Let you fall in love with someone special to spend the rest of your days with.  I'll be thinking of you. 

I Love You.  So much.  Forever and Always. 

Yours truly, (y/f/n)"

Your tears continued to fall one after the other, making the paper damp.  Your eyes connected with his only to see his bloodshot red.  It hurt you to see him in so much pain. 

"You can't leave me.  I love you," he tried to grab your hand but you pulled back. 

"You think you love me.  I'm only doing you a favor."  You said and gave him both journals.  "You'll soon realize this is for the best."

"I do love you.  I cheated on my girlfriend at the time to be with you." 

"I was a second choice.  I was only a rebound to help heal your heart.  But while yours healed, mine broke.  It was destroyed because of you."

"Don't you dare say that.  You were never once a second choice." He almost yelled.  Once he realized we were still in the airport he lowered his voice.  "Don't you ever think of yourself as a second choice."

"But I am.  This is goodbye, Harry.  I love you." This time you walked away for good.  Not once did you turn back as he continued to hell for you.  You had to keep walking, for the sake of your remaining heart. 

As soon as you took that first step and last step on that plane, you never took another step on one.  New York City was forever your home.

*  Finally on spring break!  *

- B