Strings Attached

~Chapter 7~

Anyway, when I see the time, it tells me it's 4 in the morning. And, a very nice thought crosses my mind. Why not, for once in my life, be good and pray 'tahajjud'? After all, I'm beginning a whole new innings of my life from tomorrow onwards, and to begin it with Allaah (SWT)'s blessings and protection would be the best way to go about it. Right?

Right.

After offering my prayers, I wait for an hour or so. And when it's time for Fajr, I pray my first Salah of the day and go to sleep with my mind at ease. I feel Rafiah cuddle me from behind just as I'm about to knock off into dreamland. For a moment, I find myself in a dilemma. I suddenly feel sad that I'm leaving everyone I love, behind.

And then my brain goes into overdrive, getting worried and fearful of the future. About a hundred 'what ifs' surface in my mind. Will I even be able to live without my loving family and friends? Am I taking the right decision? I can't back off at this moment. So, I just hope that things don't take a turn for the ugly.

I'm sitting at the waiting area at the Indira Gandhi International Airport reading a comic book to bide the time, and also to avoid all my aunties and uncles and their kids. There's almost an hour for my flight to come. Everyone that I've known in my life even the slightest bit is here to see me off. Stupid extended family members, please don't show up where you're not needed. Even the ones I saw 8 or 9 years ago are here. I don't know why they want to make their existence felt now.

"Hidayah! Behave yourself!! These people have especially come to see you off. Don't be such a snob! Go meet them," my mom orders me in an angry whisper. "What the heck, mum? I don't even know them!" "Don't act all important, young lady! It doesn't matter. They know you and that's enough. Now go." Great! My peaceful hours are past.

I'm a little shy when it comes to strangers and prefer to keep to my own circle. So, I don't really know what exactly the point of 'meeting them' is. Anyway, I decide to give it a try and be a bit less awkward while I'm at it.

"Assalamu alaikum, Auntie, how are you?" I begin by asking an Auntie who looks a little less scary. "Oh, I'm fine, baita! And, oh my Allaah, look at you! All grown up and bold." Okay, I didn't expect that. I haven't even seen her before. "Going to foreign to study. You were this small when I last saw you," the Auntie goes on, making a cradle with her hands to emphasize. So that explains why I don't remember her. "My son lives in London. You can call him whenever you need any help, okay." That is never going to happen, if I can help it. But I nod my head anyway.

"I brought this 'Chat Masala' for you to take it with you. I heard their food is so bland, you can't even swallow it." I feel like I need to show some manners and decline the offer. "Oh, there was no need for it, auntie. I'll be fine with the food, I assure you." And my mum's by my side in an instant. Maybe I said something wrong. She forcedly chuckles a little to bring the situation back to a normal level.

"Girls these days, Bhabhi!" I have no clue which distant 'bhabhi' this is. "They're so naïve in such matters." Really! I discreetly roll my eyes at that. "She hasn't been out much, so she doesn't really know. Otherwise, I'm sure she didn't mean to be disrespectful," mum keeps on explaining. "Hidayah! Take what is offered to you, alright," she says, turning to me and glaring at me with all her might. And I have no choice but to force the stupid packet of masala into my already overfull carry bag.