INTRICATE - Brian Quinn.

16

"And you know I need time, it doesn't make it any easier when I know you're fucking the whole of the united states in between that"

"You need time? You've been needing time for the past 2 years!"

"Brian..? Are you coming back?" Blondie called from his room.

"Maybe when your brain isn't in your pants it'll be a lot easier" I motioned my head towards the half naked girl standing in his door way, before turning around a leaving. He couldn't blame everything entirely on me. One of the big reasons why I wouldn't let myself easily be with him was because I didn't trust him. Whether the argument be a big one, or the tiniest one in all of existence, the moment he walked away I knew he would always be in bed with someone else, and that's not something I'd let him get away with easily.

-

Sitting on the couch, my phone vibrated on the coffee table before me. It was the second time that Brian had tried to call me in the last five minutes. Moments later, I received a text.

'Sorry' was all it read. Sorry, the five letters I heard more often than not from Brian Quinn.

'I'm coming over' he texted shortly after. Great.

Ten minutes later there was a knock at my apartment door, and I opened it to see Q standing there with a duffel bag in tow. Meaning that he was finally leaving L.A.

"Don't be pissed, just hear me out" he said as soon as I answered the door.

"Five minutes" I said, pulling the door open to let him in, taking in his scent as he walked past me. He always smelt so good.

"I can't leave with you being mad at me. I can't."

"I'm always mad at you so it'll make no difference to my day." I said, face purposely not containing any emotion at all. Brian just stood there looking dumbfounded by my comment, wondering whether it was sarcasm or supposedly an offense.

"Right, okay." He said shaking his head as if to shrug the comment off. I raised my eyebrows, motioning for him to continue with whatever he had came here to tell me. He sat down on the couch, leaning his elbows onto his thighs, before rubbing his face with the palms of his hands. He was clearly frustrated by the whole situation, but he was really thinking through the next words that were going to leave his mouth. "I did sleep with someone. But she meant nothing. I don't even remember the girls name."

"That's your big apology?"

"You know what? There's no reason for me to even apologize. Sorry for what, Jess? I didn't know that you were going to turn up and see that, just like I didn't know that this whole thing with you and me would happen again." The last part of that sentenced caused me to scoff laughter aloud. "What's so funny about that?" He asked.

"You really didn't think that this would happen? You purposely made me go out with you alone. You purposely made sexual comments and suggestions. You pulled all the moves on me that you probably did on that girl last night. And it was probably so stupid of me to actually go through with it"

"You don't mean that." He said with confidence. "You were aware of what was happening. Everything here is 50-50. You have got to stop blaming me"

I sighed, trying my best to contain the emotion building up inside me. He was once again right. I just didn't want to admit that whenever he was involved that I turned into a completely weak excuse of a woman. He was the only person that I have ever known that could have so much of a hold on me, and I could never find a way to rid myself of that.

"It's just easier that way.."

"Easier to blame me?" He asked, I nodded in response.

"Because that way it's like I let myself believe that it's not my fault. Like I'm not just hopelessly in love with you still. For that short moment I feel in control. I'm sorry.."

"I was wrong. I do have something to apologize for. I should have known after how we ended things the last time that I was in L.A. that I shouldn't have put you back in the exact same position again. It's just so damn hard when I'm around you. It's like the word distance is non existent because all I want to do is be around you, and to kiss you, and to get into bed with you. I don't know how to not act on that"

"I don't know either." I said, sitting down on the couch next to him. "When do you have to leave?"

"Ten minutes at most" he answered, focusing his eyes on his watch.

The room fell silent, us both clearly wanting to give into our feelings and embrace the other, but still knowing there was a huge line in between us. One that we knew we shouldn't cross.

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch.." I said, scooting closer to him on the couch, resting my head on his shoulder. He ran his thumb over the hand I had wrapped around his bicep.

"You're always a bitch, so it makes no difference to my day" he nudged me slightly to let me know that he was mocking my words that I had said earlier on in the conversation.

"I know I am."

Our embrace was soon disturbed when a cars horn sounded.

"That'll be my cab" Brian announced, unwantingly sliding up from my grasp and getting up, me following his moves as he walked to the door.

"Well.. Have a safe flight" I forced a small smile.

We both stood there for a few seconds as I awaited a response from him, before he dropped his bag suddenly, placing his hands on my cheeks and leaning in, placing his lips onto mine. I wrapped my hands around his arms to hold him close, not wanting the kiss to ever end, every ounce of built up passion evident in the embrace.

"I love you." he just above whispered, his forehead against my own, and hands still placed on either cheek, before leaning in for another kiss. "So fucking much" I felt his breath on my lips as he spoke those few words, before he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I love you, too" I said, rubbing my hand up and down his back. "Now go, before you miss your flight" I pulled away, rubbing my eye to try and hide the emotion present from how much I didn't want him to leave in this moment.

"I'll call you when I land" he said, picking up his bag and beginning to walk away before he came to a stand still. "Hey, Jess?" He called out, causing me to open the door that I had just started to shut.

"Yeah?" I questioned.

"We'll sort this all out, you know."

I nodded slowly in response with a small smile, not knowing how to take that comment when it had always been the opposite.

"I'll see you later, Brian" I said, receiving a smirk accompanied with a nod, before walking away, this time for real.

As I shut the door, I heard his cab pull away, knowing he was making his way back to New York, and back to his new life and new girlfriend.. Hoping to god his words weren't just the ones that he thought I needed to hear in that moment.