INTRICATE - Brian Quinn.

2

Sliding one last wipe over the counter, I looked around the kitchen that I had finally finished cleaning and felt relieved that it was finally clean after what had seemed like hours of scouring. Q had called when he landed in L.A. earlier this morning, telling me that he would be round in the early evening after he had finished with his day at comic con. I wanted everything to be as neat as it could be, I wanted him to know that I was doing a great job at being a mother to his child, although secretly I always felt like I could do better. But I'm sure any new mother would feel the same way.

It was around 4pm, and I heard a car pull up outside my block of apartments, peaking out the window to see Q hop out, I instantly felt a little panicked and went to give myself a once over in the mirror quick before he ended up at the door.

Opening the door, I came face to face with the guy that I just wanted to embrace in a huge hug, but instead we settled with the odd awkward hello greeting as I stepped back to let him in, realizing he had a duffel bag in hand.

"Planning on robbing the place?" I joked, motioning my eyes to his bag, he looked down to then later get the joke and chuckled slightly in response.

"No, no, just haven't figured out where to stay yet." He replied.

"So you've just been randomly carrying a bag of clothes around with you all day? Hmm, I don't buy it.." I said, smirking. He clearly knew that he had a place to stay, and he wouldn't want to go through the fuss of staying in a hotel when he knew he'd always be welcome here, maybe even pulling the dad excuse if I were to turn down his hint.

"That obvious?" He smiled.

"I know a hint when I see one. As long as the couch seems appealing to you, anyhow."

"Anything is better than being alone in a hotel room." He sighed. I almost felt for him, he had to be lonely traveling by himself always. There would be no one to share the experiences with, no one to sit and talk to at night time. Loneliness is one of the worst feelings in the world, so if I could spare him from feeling that way for at least a few minutes, then that was what I was going to attempt. As we walked into the living room, Brian came face to face with his son sitting in his swing. I watched as both of their faces lit up as they noticed one another. "Hey little guy" Brian cooed as he walked over to the small child, reaching his arms out and under his armpits to pick him up, resting a smiling James on his side. His chubby cheeks smiling as big as I had ever seen, making me feel so much better after always having the worry in the back of my mind that he wouldn't remember his father after seeing him so little.

"Look who it is" I smiled at him, grabbing his small hand as Brian bobbed him up and down slightly. His transition from never wanting children, to completely doting on his child when he was around was such a natural thing, like he was born to be a father. Seeing him around James always left me confused as to why he never wanted a family in the first place. "Do you want to feed him whilst I order some dinner for us?" I asked, recieving a confused glance in response.

"Me feed him?" He pointed to himself, as if I had worded the question wrong.

"That's what I asked?" I asked back, confused by his answer.

"I thought you, you know.. Did your thing?" His question making me instantly burst out into laughter. Acknowledging that a breast was used for anything other than sexual purposes seemed foreign to him.

"He's actually eating now. Like baby food."

"Oh" he replied, looking confused, before looking at his sons face. "Kinda missing out on a lot, aren't I bud?" He spoke those words to James, in a slight baby voice, a voice I had only ever heard him use on his cats. No matter the tone, he did seem genuine. I could tell by the look on his face as he looked at his son that he really did know that he was missing out on an awful lot of his life. He had already changed so much, and he was about to start doing all of his firsts, and I wanted nothing more than for Brian to at least see one of those.

"Pass him here" I said, holding my hands out for Brian to place James into my hands, his own hand running over mine in the process, sending goosebumps up my arm. I had definitely missed his touch.

Placing him into his chair before strapping him in, I then reached into the cupboard, pulling out a jar of baby food before grabbing a spoon, turning around and handing them both to Brian.

"Do I just give him the whole thing or..?" The confusion returning to his voice as he slid a chair along the floor, positioning it closer to James before sitting on it.

"Just give him as much as he wants, but only small spoonfuls" I smiled, watching his face. He was trying so hard to do everything right, but at the same time worried that James was as delicate as a doll. It was kind of cute how into being a parent he had gotten.

Sitting watching him place the spoonfuls of food into James' mouth, laughing at the sound affects he was making, I had to take a second to remember that this would only be temporary. I wouldn't get to see this every day, and James wouldn't be able to enjoy his dad every day. And I couldn't decide whether that made me feel like I wanted to continue sitting and cherishing what I was witnessing, or if it made me feel like I wanted to get up and leave the room altogether. I didn't want to see how great they were together, and then to crave it even more, but then to be disappointed when he was just too busy to be there.

As the night grew later, I had let Brian put James to bed for the first time, relishing in the cuteness of the moment no matter how much I told myself I shouldn't.
I walked into the living room, two glasses full of red wine in hand, placing a glass into his hand as he sat on the couch, before sitting myself on the couch opposite him.

"Something wrong with this chair?" He questioned, noticing the obvious distance I purposely had made between us. I didn't know how to answer his question, instead I chuckled small and took a gulp of my drink. "Well I was being serious, but sure." He murmed, before swigging his drink also.

"I just don't want it to be weird, you know?" I scrunched an eyebrow, awaiting the unknown response that I would receive from him.

"What's weird is that I make you this uncomfortable." He stated, not taking his stare off of me.

"You do not make me uncomfortable."

"Well something made you sit all the way over there." He replied with a straight face, and at this moment in time I couldn't tell if he was being serious or if he was just messing around.

"Fine then" I said, grabbing ahold of my glass before walking over to the couch that he was sat on before sitting down next to him. "Better?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"Much better" he finally smiled, getting his own way as per usual. "So..how've you been?" He asked.

"I've been good. A little tired, a little desperate for adventure, I love being a mom but being cooped up all the time is not fun" I sighed, taking another drink from my glass, the wine clearly helping to bring out my honesty. "How have you been?"

"Eh" was all he responded.

"And what exactly is 'eh'?" I questioned, mocking the sound he had made.

"If that's how I had to describe my life right now, that's how it would be."

"I'm not sure if that's even a word, actually."

"Who knows, all I know is that there probably isn't even a word to describe how I feel" he said, sounding extremely mopey.

"Talk to me" I said sympathetically, resting my hand on his thigh, before he and I both looked down at the hand movement. He sighed big, before placing his hand over mine gently.

"I just miss you, I guess" he sighed once again. "I just miss you a lot."