Mute

Chapter 20

I reached the entrance to my neighborhood and almost immediately stopped paying attention to the road. It was never busy so I wasn't too worried. I just really wanted to think right now.

I was falling for Kyle. I had to admit that. I don't want to. I mean, he's a great guy but he doesn't know that much about me. How can I be sure he won't just up and lead if he finds out? Or maybe leave for no reason. Why do I trust him? I've never been good at trusting people. Maybe he is different. No, stop thinking that. It'll just get you hurt in the end. Everyone leaves eventually. Especially you, you worthless piece of crap.

I reached my house. It was empty. Just like I thought. I turned on my music to try and distract my thoughts. That didn't work too well. My phone vibrated. It was a message from Kyle. I sigh in frustration. I need to be cut off from the world for a few hours.

I turned on my shower and made my music a bit louder. I closed my eyes and exhaled. I softly hummed along to the song playing and tried to slow my mind a bit. It wasn't working. There was just a constant stream of thoughts and questions buzzing inside my head. My mind was just a train wreck. I couldn't focus on one question long enough to answer it before my mind moved on to something else.

I can't take it. My mind was screaming. I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I fell against the wall next to my cupboard and slid to the floor. I closed my eyes and shook my head trying to make the thoughts stop. Not just thoughts about Kyle now. Slowly, my entire past and memories were eating me alive.

"Stop." I mumbled

'Remember the first guy who told you he loved you' my mind hissed.

I did remember. No matter how many times I try to bury it, it always comes back. That night. A stolen, drunken kiss. Whispered words that were nothing more than a drunken stupor.

'You want to forget don't you?'

Of course I do. I always want to forget. So I find myself grabbing for my pill bottle and a secret stash of whiskey. I down five pills in a gulp. It takes a little effect. Not enough. I take another swig of the drink. My vision gets fuzzier and my body gets numb. I down half the bottle before my vision fades to black and I feel completely numb.

I wake up feeling like shit. It's Friday. My first week back to school is now over after today. This week was really eventful. So much has happened. It's weird. At the hospital, I could tell a months worth of events in about ten minutes. Here, I could hardly tell a few days worth in that time.

I heard a bang downstairs. Guess it was dad. I heard his footsteps in the kitchen. Oh god, I need to put clothes on. I was still in just my towel. I slid on a black tank top and some grey skinny jeans. His footsteps were coming towards my door now. My iPod had died so he wasn't mad at my music being too loud. My door was pulled open roughly.

"Skipping school now!? Really!?" His face had rage smeared across it.

"I woke up late." I mumbled looking at my feet.

He looked as if he was going to do more but decided against it.

"Worthless bitch." He muttered before walking out of the door.

Well I wasn't going to school, and I also wasn't staying here, so I decided to head to the park.

----------------------------

Sorry this wasn't up earlier, I literally just finished my English 2 homework!

Anyway, thanks for reading and next update should be next Friday since I'm going to try and be organized.