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he can't make me

me: i don't want to go.

him: you're going.

me: do i have to?

him: you can't back out now, already got a dress.

me: i think i still have the reciept in my room.

him: no you don't, i went in your room while you were in the shower and threw it away.

me: i'll dumpster dive for it.

him: i ripped it to shreds.

me: i have tape.

him: i burnt it.

me: .....

him: yeah.

me: you.... burnt it?

him: yup! now you can't back out.

me: um...

him: what is it?

me: i don't 'do' dances.

him: not even christmas dances?

me: no cooper, not even.

him: you're not human, i know it.

me: what?

him: there's a first time for everything! and look, we're here! let's go have fun!

me: sure, if that's what you call it.

him: stop talking for a second and dance with me. 

me: ....

him: yeah, i know - you wear the pants in this friendship.

me: come on moron, let's dance.

written on a dirty napkin

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