Scream with Me

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Once at his place he took her straight to his room and locked the door just in case his mom got back ahead of time. He pointed to the bathroom and she went inside. He didn’t want to see her shooting up and instead paced his room wondering how the hell this was all happening. Against his better judgment he wanted to know why she felt the need to destroy herself, what drove her to such an extreme.

He took off his top shirt, let his hair down, and then walked to the bathroom door. “You almost done?” he asked awkwardly, how did you go about asking someone if they were done sticking a needle to their arm?

When she didn’t answer he started to fear the worse and opened the door. Thankfully she didn’t accidentally overdose; she never got around to taking it out of her bag. She was passed out on the floor and stupidly he was glad he had mopped the floor yesterday.

“Maryanne?” he kneeled down next to her and shook her shoulders until she started to moan. “What happened?” he pulled her up and sat her against the tub.

“I don’t know.” She rubbed her eyes as if trying to clear them.

“Fuck.” He snatched her purse and dug around until he found a small silk pouch. With each step he hated himself more and more, cursing the world for his crap luck. He sat there on the floor and remembered step for step when he used to hide in the corner and watch his father do the same thing.

Once it was prepared, the reddish liquid filling the syringe he grabbed her arm. “Jensen?” she opened her eyes and started to panic as he pulled her sleeve up and bared all the bruises she had.

“I hate you for making me do this.” he meant that with everything inside of him. He searched her arm for a vein and refused to look at her face.

“Jensen?” she called his name this time with less panic and more concern.

He caved and looked at her, revealing the tears running down his cheeks. He didn’t say anything and went back to his nightmare of a task. He had swore to never have anything to do with drugs, when his father passed he had blamed all substances and refused to even drink, he never wanted to be an addict or know one except here he was on his bathroom floor shooting up his cousin’s girlfriend. This was even outrageous for Jerry Springer.

As the drug coursed through her system he put everything back in her bag and left it to her. He left her in the bathroom and went back to his room trying to figure out what came next. He had wanted to help her, he got involved in this but it was all too much, he hadn’t been prepared to go this low.

More tears fell from his eyes as he clenched his jaw and willed the memories to go away but there were all there so vivid in his mind’s eye.

The bathroom door and she stepped out looking ok again, like nothing had happened in the last half hour, like she never felt sick, like she wasn’t high as a kite right now. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” he wasn’t in the mood to hear an addict lie.

“How did you know how to do that? Have you ever used?” her tone was even, she was careful not to suggest the wrong thing.

“Fuck no.” he shook his head. “My father was hooked on that and a lot more. I idolized him because I was too young and too stupid to know better. We would be hanging out and all of a sudden he’d send me away. I was seven and got mad and decided to find out why he told me to go to my room. I hid in the hallway and watched while he…never mind.” He ran his hands down his face, they fell away wet.

“How did he die?”

He turned harshly and looked at her. “How do you think? With a fucking needle sticking from his arm on the floor looking a lot like you did in there.” That had been the one memory he refused to think of since it happened bit now there was no turning it away. “I found him. I was fifteen and knew what he was doing, I had begged him to stop for so long but that day he must’ve gone too far.” He wiped at his cheeks again, these stupid tears wouldn’t stop. He couldn’t even remember the last time he cried. He never cried for his father, maybe that’s why he cried now. He had been too angry at his father when he died for leaving him to shed a tear.

“I’m sorry, I mean it.”

He moved over to the bed and sat. “You probably do but does it change anything?” he looked at her with pained hazel eyes. “He’s still dead and you’re still going to use.”

She shrugged sadly. “It helps.” She didn’t have anymore of an answer then that.

“Helps what? What is so bad that you have to hurt yourself like this?” as he asked the question he watched as her eyes went from casual to anger. “Did someone hurt you? Do you just like the feeling?”  

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I want to go home.” she crossed her arms and looked toward the window.

“I don’t feel like driving right now so you’re stuck with me.” If she wanted to act like a stubborn child then so was he.

“We don’t know each other Jensen, why the hell would I tell you anything about me?” she asked bitterly, addressing their previous conversation.

“I know you better right now then anyone else because I know what your biggest secret.”

“Getting high isn’t my biggest secret; it’s just how I survive.”

He stared at her while she looked toward the window; it burned inside his chest to know what drove her to his breaking point. Why heroin was what kept her going. He had asked, he wanted to ask again but he knew she wouldn’t tell him. “You’re right, we don’t know each other but…” he ran his hands down his face and questioned why he was digging himself deeper. “We can be friends.”

Her blue eyes grew wide as she turned to look at him. “You want to be my friend?”

“I was honest when I said I wanted to help you, I think I proved that tonight.”

“You want to help me quit.”

“Yes. Trust me Mary; you don’t want t keep going down this rode. You don’t want a tombstone next to my father’s.” he said with a well deserved edge.

“I’m careful.”

“That’s what he said. That’s what they all say.”

“I’m not some street corner junkie.”

His mouth got the better of him and it wasn’t the first time. “The only thing that separates you from them is the carefully put lies you have in place. You hide it well, I’ll give you that.”

“Fuck you Jensen. You go from being really sweet to a complete jerk in seconds!”

He stood up. “I’m hoping some of this well seep into your thick skull! What is it going to take for you to stop?” he just wanted her to say it, to try and be clean.

“You saw what happened tonight, I can’t just put it down and go on with my merry life.” she said flatly, her eyes narrowing as she looked up at him.

“I helped you tonight because you weren’t ready for what was going to come but you go through withdraw once and you’ll be free from it.”

“I don’t want your clinical advice.”

“Then I’ll leave you alone. I don’t want to care when you die.” 

“You wouldn’t care now?”

They stared at each other and the more he looked into her ever blue eyes he realized he was standing too close. “I’ll give you that ride now.”

“Wait.” Her hand latched on tightly to his wrist as he turned away. “I hear something.”

He pulled away from her grip and moved toward his door. “Shit, she’s home faster then I thought. Hide in the bathroom while I go talk to her.”