Chapter 11: Her Hogwarts Trip

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Holding his sleeping wife on the train on the way to Hogwarts, Snape had an unexplained fear in his heart about returning to Hogwarts after leaving it with painful memories four years ago. He was scared to be faced back with all the memories he had experienced there. Meeting Minerva and the golden trio had been pleasant but meeting Lionel had not. What if Lionel was there too? Looking into the vast wilderness outside the window, Snape knew he was confused. And being reacquainted with the people from his past, especially Lionel, had stirred some confusion in his heart. His heart. Lily still lived there, right there in his heart. And Meredith did not know this.

As much as he loved Meredith and would give anything for her, he could not grant her the sole ownership of his heart, and Meredith thought she was the only queen of his heart. That was why he refused to talk about his past romance. He could not lie to her, and he would never. The least he could do was to leave out some of the truth. He could not imagine her heartbreak if she knew she was sharing a place with another woman in his heart, when all she did was love him unconditionally. He knew Lionel knew this. And he was scared Lionel would use this to hurt Meredith, which would perhaps result in Meredith walking away from him, which in turn, would destroy him once again. And Lionel would get his long-awaited revenge. Meredith had sacrificed a great deal for him since the first time they met.

It was true Lily had been the first to sincerely accept him as a friend and had defended him against bullies when they were at school, but Meredith had accepted him as a friend even when he was still a stranger, when he was a broken man. However, his long history with Lily earned her a place in his heart and he could never seem to forget her. Yes, Lily had betrayed his friendship and his feeling by choosing another man, a man who had been his bully at school, but it was also because of her that he was capable of loving. If he told Meredith this, would she understand? Would she accept to have only half his heart while another half still belonged to the long deceased Lily? She must feel foolish to have to share her man's heart with his long-dead lover. This could be a deal breaker of their relationship and Snape shuddered at the thought of Meredith leaving him. He decided to not entertain this thought and instead told himself to cross the bridge when he got there, no matter how bad the situation might be.

Arriving at Hogwarts Castle, Meredith marveled at its ancient beauty. The golden trio left them after accompanying them into their suite after touring some areas of the castle a little. Tired from the long journey, they retired to bed early that night. Even in Hogwarts, Meredith still had her recurrent nightmare.

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