Troubled

Chapter 7 - Bugging Me

Troubled

Chapter 7 - Bugging Me

"You really fucking need to stop being so closed off from the world Kyle! You're literally ruining your own life!? Every teenager has experienced parties and drinking because it's just what we do but that's all you do! That's all you're use to! You drink, have a one night stand and act like nothing even happened in the morning. You have three boys to worry about at home and you're brilliant with them but they can see that you're not always happy! You have never spoke to anybody about what you've been through apart from me and i'm not exactly the best with advise!" Jake rambled on as we walked down the road.

"Fuck off."

"You know it's true! You're doing it right now, see. I tell you the truth and you're shutting me down and blocking me out! You damn well know what you're doing as well" he stated as the tone in his voice got increasingly strict, like an adult scolding their child.

"Do you not know when to shut up?" he bitterly laughed and rolled his eyes, grabbed my arm and stopped me walking in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Do you not know when you need help? Actually that was a stupid question because hell no you don't. You think you're the strongest boy alive don't you? Well here's a reality check Ky, you're not. Inside, you're shattered, broken, whatever you want to call it, but you just constantly hide it by distracting yourself. You thrive from them kids, their happiness is what keeps you going and if you never had them then fuck, I don't think i'd have a best friend anymore Kyle and I really can't loose you."

I ripped my arm out of his grip and carried on walking, his footsteps followed behind mine.

"Stop walking away from me! Kyle just stop it!"

"Stop bugging me Jake, just leave me alone."

"I'm bringing this up for your own damn good. The only people who actually understand you are my Mom and I! You don't -."

"Understand? You actually think you understand me? You don't even know the damn half of what I go through Jake so don't act like you do. I use to drink to flush the painful images away. I still cry at the fact Mom's actually gone and all i'm left with is my pathetic excuse for a father. I'm meant to be responsible for three kids yet I still have not taken Lee do the Doctor for that stupid mental thing that I can't even remember the name of. I have horrible thoughts, I remember all the bodies i've beat lifeless just to be able to afford actually living. I've seen way too much for a seventeen year old boy, I deal with ten times the pressure I should be under at this age!" I snapped at him while I stopped walking, I turned around to find Jake standing still, smirking at my outburst.

"There we go. You just admitted you still have bad memories you don't talk about. You just admitted you need help. Counsellors help Kyle, they do and I think you need one and I have for a while. I'm just trying to get you to see that you can't store these thoughts at the back of your mind and hope for them to go away. This is real life and you need to talk about it" he walked over to me and gave me a hug.

"I will if it makes you happy. I just want to be the best parent and older brother I can possibly be. Levi, Jake and Noah deserve much more than what they have but i'm trying."

"You're doing a great job with the boys. Life will always get better in the end Ky, and if nothing's getting better then don't even think about giving up because guess what? It's not the end."

"Stop googling quotes Jake. They make you seem like a wannabe journalist or inspirational speaker" that resulted in us both bursting out into laughter, disturbing passing citizens.

"You love my quotes, stop lying to yourself."

"I really don't Jay" he rolled his eyes.

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