Red Blooded

Chapter 25 - Letting go

Chapter is dialogue heavy. Not edited. But I will get around to it :D

I remember everything about that day; where I was, what I was doing, even the perfume I was wearing. I remember it so clearly. It's hard to say whether or not I remembered those things only because I was trying to force my mind to relive as much as possible before everything broke, but the things I remembered, I just accepted. 

The journey to this point had been difficult. It had been long and, for the most part, a blur. Especially the first few months. Those first months were spent spear heading an acquisition of two different companies: South and Fields. I couldn't help but cringe now. That person that I had become, the person I thought that I would always be, was not here any longer. 

She was gone. 

Em was back. And I was glad of it. 

It had been too long since I had felt like me again, the person that I used to be before all of this. Happy and carefree. And to top it all off, I couldn't see myself wavering away from that feeling anytime soon. 

She stood there, on her own away from the others, just like I had on this day last year. Unlike last year, her blonde hair wasn't coiffed to perfection, she wasn't leaning on others, and had spent the majority of our time here in virtual silence. The light reflected against the strands of blonde, shining gold when the sun caught it in a specific way. Her shoulders had sagged, weak and defenseless. Everything about the way she was now reminded me of how far I had come. And despite the revelations of the last year, travelling and turning up with a fiancee, I knew that she wasn't over it.

Hilary was still grieving.

It was a year today  year since we had buried what we had assumed was our futures, and Hilary was still holding onto that bit of the past. 

"Hey," I walked up slowly to her, my kitten heels sinking into the soft grassy banks as I did. She didn't turn straight away. Quickly she wiped at her face, tears presumably, and took a deep breath in before turning to face me.

"Hey." She smiled. It didn't reach her eyes. In the week leading up to the private memorial service, she had barely shown any real emotion. Her face was a constant puzzle. It was heart breaking. "Where are the others?" 

I looked over my shoulders and could just about make out the retreating backs of Eric and Crick, both of whom had left after I had asked them to. Mary, Angela and Gen had already taken the kids for ice cream. 

"They went to get ice cream for the kids." I stopped by her side. "They're gonna just head straight to the restaurant after, so we have about a half hour before we need to make a move." 

Hilary nodded wordlessly, turning her head back to the front when she failed to look me in the eye.

The cemetery lived up to its eerie state. Since arriving, only one person had walked into our line of visions. Paige and Adam had taken to giving a running commentary on our visit to  Marc and Tom's graves, but otherwise it had been a silent affair. Throughout it all, Hilary had been distant. Her vacant eyes frightened me a little. 

"How you holding up?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest when the bitter air blew our way. 

Hilary shrugged. "So-so." Without warning she started walking away from the marked grave - Tom's grave. I followed her silently to the bench at the end of the cemetery trail and sat next to her.  The backs of my bare legs touched the cold wood, making me shiver. "You don't have to be here with me. I know you didn't like Tom so you don't to see me wallow in self pity over a man that killed your fiance." Her words were soft, but they had a brutality in them that made me want to just get up and walk away.