𝒊'𝒎 𝒐𝒏 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆 / 𝑗𝑜𝑠ℎ 𝑑𝑢𝑛

Ten;

There is a small amount of smut.
You have been warned.

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8:35 AM. Josh was fast asleep. Our clothes were thrown everywhere. My limbs ached to hells end. I couldn't remember much...

He had me pinned against my bedroom door, hands gripping my wrists above my head. Our jeans were off in seconds, I'm unsure if I broke free to do this or if he did. Underwear down. My wrists set free. His arms round my waist, picking me up. Him grinding against me, our moans mingling together. Quiet mutters of 'kitten' and 'babygirl' tickled my lips as he abruptly entered, thrusting so slow. So gently. Savouring the feeling. A moan drowns out the slurred 'I love you' he groans out. And the rest was a blur.

My mind set back further, to the question he asked me.

"Be mine."

I'm not use to this. I'm just a toy. A young girl having 'fun' until the counterpart gets bored. I carefully slip out of the bed, grabbing a leather bound notebook as I head to my dining room table.

"Everyone has a story."

These words rang through my head, an excruciating chime. The notebook lay in front of me. Sighing, I open it up. There were pages and pages of people who paid even the slightest bit of attention to me. They were memories, mistakes, life lessons. Each of them got their own started page. The notebook was almost full, platonic and romantic relationships galore.

I sigh again. Page 3. Riley Ackerman. I remember his dyed black hair, messy yet straight. I remember meeting him in a club, cocaine speckled under his nose. I remember going home with him. I remember bring pushed out at 7 AM when his girlfriend came home. I never heard back from him.

Page 1. Emma Knox. I remember his bright orange hair, cheap extensions clipped aimlessly. I remember her fake nose ring. I remember meeting her at E Street, pointing her towards the used vinyls. I remember out friendship lasting two months. I remember her telling me she was moving away. I never heard back from her.

My breath became shaky. Page 6. Lou Eli Rohr. I remember bumping into him outside Zedler's. I remember his mousey brown hair falling over his glasses covered eyes. I remember his old plaid shirt flowing gently behind him as he helped me up. I remember his electric green eyes and his stubble surrounding his cheeky lopsided smile. I remember our whirlwind romance. I remember it being perfect. I remember thinking "soon we could be official". I remember the day he started picking up the needle. I remember his violence when he didn't get his fix. I remember him leaving me alone when I walked away. I remember the last words he every said to me; I'm just a phone call away, kid.

I still think he may be the one.

Josh's soft snores pulled me back into reality. Picking up the notebook, I go back to bed. I'm doing no wrong, am I? I need Garrett.

Garrett can help.

Turning to see the red headed boy, I hold my breath.

Why am I doing this to him?