I spent pretty much the whole weekend packing. Grace came over to help me, but that usually ended in us getting distracted and watching Disney movies. She was taking the whole us all abandoning her thing pretty hard. I can’t blame her. When we leave she won’t really have anybody. She kind of ditched her other friends for us so they probably won’t take her back. I’m sure she will make new friends though. She is so friendly and everything about her screams best friend material. I’m not so sure how I will do in New York though. People don’t really like me. I’m usually pretty shy before you get to know me. I was seriously dreading this Friday when the boys left. ‘Hey Ashy I miss you’ I sent to my lovely boyfriend before cleaning out my truck. It was kind of full of trash now. Lots of McDonald’s wrappers and a few tumblers in the cup holders. I cleaned up random papers left over from school and even vacuumed the inside. It looked a lot better. ‘Miss you too babe’ Ashton texted me back. It seems so cliché to text your boyfriend telling him that you miss him, but I really did miss him. I really liked Ashton and not seeing him while he is in London is going to be hard, but it’s not like he has to worry about me cheating on him, people don’t like me, especially boys. ‘You busy’ I texted Ashton back. ‘I always have time for my girl’ he texted me back. My heart did little flips. ‘I’m coming over and I’m bringing cupcakes!’ I sent him before grabbing the cupcakes I made earlier this morning and getting into my truck.
“Hey Beautiful” Ashton says from his porch. I’ve kind of gotten used to seeing him there. “I brought cupcakes” I say holding them up in the air for him to see. He walks over to me and grabs the cupcakes out of my hands and sets them on the hood of my truck. He wraps his arms around my lower back and pulls me in for a romantic kiss. “I missed you” I whisper in his ear. He smiles and breathes out a small laugh. “You can’t miss me yet. You will have plenty of time to do that later” he says as we pull apart. He’s right, if I miss him now I will definitely miss him when he is gone gone. He grabs the cupcakes and leads me into his house. “Hey Harry want a cupcake?” I ask the boy who was sitting on his couch watching television. Harry jumps up and takes a cupcake and I leave one out for Ashton’s sister whenever she gets home. Ash and I take the rest of the cupcakes to his room so we can pig out. “So you made these?” He asks while taking the wrapper off of one. “Yeah out for that cake mix stuff at the store” I say. I’m not a master baker or anything. “They’re good” he says taking a bite out of it. “Glad you like it. I made them this morning. I’ve been so bored.” I say before cramming a cupcake into my mouth. “I’ve been busy. All of my other friends are trying to get in some Ashton time before I leave and my family has been trying to do the same. Plus there is always packing to do.” Ashton says. “I haven’t even seen much of my family” I say. “Yeah I don’t see them much either. Actually I don’t think I’ve even met your father.” Ashton says. “Yeah well my parents are workaholics. After Rose died they worked a lot to distract them and I think being around me and my brother reminded them too much of Rose. I think she was always their favorite.” I confessed. “You still miss her don’t you? I see it in your eyes” he says brushing my hair back. “Certain things remind me of her all the time. It was really bad right after it happened. Now it’s just a small part of me that I don’t mention much. I had Andrew take me to get a tattoo right after it happened.” I say as I pull my hair off my neck. “Here I’ll show it to you if you get me a wet wash cloth.” I tell Ashton. He goes to his bathroom and returns with a wet washcloth. I wiped off the makeup that covered it up and turned around for Ashton to see it. It was Rose written in black ink with a little rose in the o. “Why do you cover it up?” he asked me as he stroked my hair. “I’m not really sure. I think at first it was to hide it from my parents, but now I just…” I trail off at the end. Why do I cover it up? “Now I think I just don’t want people asking about it. It’s just hard sometimes. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve been through and that tattoo is probably my favorite thing about my body.” I explain. “You know I think you cover it up because it makes you feel vulnerable. It seems like the only thing that you are ever hesitant to discuss.” Ashton says. I guess he is right. I do feel vulnerable when I talk about Rose. “You know you can be vulnerable with me. I’m here for you” he says kissing my forehead. “I know” I say and I meant it. I know I can trust Ashton. “Hey how about I tell you something I’m vulnerable about” he suggests. “I’d like that” I say. We snuggle together on his bed and we intertwine our fingers together. “Well you remember when I dated Violet right” he starts. I make a face. I never liked her. “Well I think the only reason I put up with her is because it made me feel wanted in a weird sort of way. The fact that somebody so popular and pretty would want somebody like me, just made me feel good. Now I know she was just a jerk, and a cheater, and she only wanted me for the physical stuff.” He shares. “Now I have you. You like me for more than the physical stuff. You like to talk to me and goof off and you in a way brought me to the boys in the band. You make me feel wanted in all the right ways. You are kind of the best thing to happen to me” he says. I looked into his eyes and knew that he really meant it. “I’m going to miss you so much” I say holding him tight. “There won’t be a moment that passes where you aren’t on my mind” he says. “Same here” I say.
