Solar Eclipse - Book 5

If We Survive

By 6:00 pm the Cromwell's had arrived back at the house once more. They were here to stay until the situation cleared itself. They Anne and Charles fell into a deep conversation with my parents about safety and doing all that they could to preserve not only my and Nic's lives but the twins as well - since we were the only half vampires in the family.

An hour after their arrival our cousins from Denali showed up. It was nice to see Kate and Garrett who were secretly my favorites. I immediately jumped up and gave them both a huge hug before greeting the others.

By 8:30 a safety system was established and made clear to every person in the house. All the male vampires and any females with a powerful defensive gift would be on gaurd around the house.

Alice who suddenly went blind in her visions just thirty minutes prior was sitting in the piano room with Esme and Carlisle trying to find a way back in.

I watched sleepily as my mother stood at the window watching my father intently. I wondered what was on her mind but I didn't feel like invading her private thoughts.

Yawning I rose to my feet and took a step only to have Nic do the same. I turned to look at him and he just beckoned me forward with a slight nudge. As we climbed the stairs he moved to my side and laced his fingers through mine.

We walked silently down the hall and left each other only to enter our own rooms. I went straight to my closet and changed into my champagne colored vintage silk gown before I brushed out my hair and moved to my bed.

Grabbing the duvet at the foot of my bed I pulled it up to my chest and clutched it before closing my eyes to try and go to sleep.

1...2...3...4...5...6.

I counted the seconds that passed as I lay in my bed still awake. Sighing I turned over onto my back and tried to clear my mind. For the first few seconds it worked until visions of Rachel in her twin form twisted and morphed in my mind.

Flashes of red eyes, sharp teeth and strong arms came at me.

I sat up quickly, my heart pounding and without a second thought I slid out of bed, the duvet still clutched at my chest. I needed to feel safe, that was the only thing that mattered to me right now. Crossing my room I opened my bedroom door and peered into the hall. No one was there.

I quietly shut my door closed behind me and crossed the hall before opening a bedroom door and closing it. There sitting up in the bed looking right at me was Nic. He had a surprised expression on his face which led me to believe he didn't expect to see me.

"Renesmee?" He said in a worried voice as he got to his feet. "What is it?"

I crossed my arms nervously and walked to the bedside where I sat down and pulled the duvet close to my chest.

"I couldn't sleep." I replied simply.

"Restless?" He questioned as he joined my side and wrapped his arm around me.

Closing my eyes at his touch I nuzzled comfortingly into his chest.

"I didn't feel safe." I yawned.

"But you feel safe now?"

I nodded my head, my eye brows raised slightly in realization of how true his words were. "I guess... I am."

"Well then, how about we get some sleep." He said, moving across the bed and then pulling me to his side.

Nic was now laying on his back in the center of his massive king sized bed and I was on my side facing him. My head rested on his chest so perfectly I was able to hear his heart beat clearly. His arms were wrapped snug around me, creating a feeling of peace. This spot, right here, was where I felt safe.

"So what is it that has gotten you frightened?"

I rolled my eyes. "I thought we were going to sleep?"

Nic chuckled lightly before pressing a kiss gently to my forehead. "Indeed we were."

A couple minutes of silence passed between us before I realized I couldn't sleep either since I had some things on my mind that I was curious to talk about.

"About us..." I began, only to stop short of my words.

There were a few more moments of silence.

"What about us Renesmee."

"You love me and I obviously love you but I just don't know about what the future holds for us."

"What do you mean Renesmee?" He asked, his voice was clear, alert even. "Are you saying you want us to end?"

I sat up in the bed and turned my body to face him. "No, that isn't what I am saying Nic. I see us together but I am afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Everything. We can't be happy when we are constantly looking over our shoulders in fear of back lash from the Volturi."

Nic sat up and took my hands into his before kissing each finger gently. When he finished he smiled sweetly.

"Are you happy now?" he asked.

I nodded my head. "Of course I am."

"Yet you are afraid as we have a somewhat impending doom hovering over us."

My lips parted slightly as I was understanding where he was going with this conversation.

"You can be happy and afraid at the same time. Live in the moment, treasure what you have right in front of you." He paused for a moment. "So what else is troubling you?"

I looked down at my lap, staring at my hands wringing together nervously. "When my mother and father were married they spend their honeymoon together and she ended up pregnant with me. The pregnancy almost killed her."

"You are afraid of bearing children?"

I nodded my head in shame.

"So let me sort this out. You are afraid to marry me because you think we will make love, you will get pregnant and then die?"

I let my head hang in shame. "I know it is stupid."

"Actually I do not think it is stupid. That is one of the first thoughts that cross my mind when I think of our future together. That is why when it comes for us to take that next step we will talk to your grandfather and make sure we can be safe."

Nic lifted my chin with his index finger. When my eyes met his my breath caught in my throat. His beautiful silver-blue eyes were so beautiful, they took my breath away every single time.

"Renesmee, I love you and I will do anything and everything in my power to protect you and make sure that you will always be safe." He carefully pulled me onto his lap and pressed his lips securely to mine.

Once our lips parted he moved me from his lap and laid back down on his back before pulling me into his arms.

As he held me I could only smile. This fear of the future and repeating my mothers last weeks as a human were past me. Now when I looked ahead I could truly see myself, happy. With Nic.

"If we live through this I will follow you anywhere." I said confidently.

He kissed my cheek and then all was silent. I counted the number of heart beats I heard in his chest until he had fallen asleep. The only thing I could do now was to follow him into the land of dreams.