Started With a Lie

Chapter Fifty-Three

        I nod in response to which he mirrors before setting off to get a cab.

            For some strange reason, I grasp his hand before he leaves. It's really embarrassing and I don't know why I do it but words tumble out of my mouth. "I don't want to seem weak or anything but uh, could you just hurry? I just...I really don't want to be alone at the hospital...in case the news is really bad. I have to tell my brother and I know it'll be the worst feeling telling him and...."

           Daniel's look of surprise melts away into a soft expression. He walks back, taking my face in both of his hands. "You are not weak. You are one of the strongest girls I've ever loved. Hell yes, I will hurry. I'll drive the cab myself if I have to."

          He laughs but I'm frozen as I replay his words. Love. Did he say love? What? What does that mean? I don't know— I'm—

           "You okay?" he asks, catching my skin paling. "Do you need to rest?"

            He didn't even realize he said it. Which means it's okay. It wasn't meant to be said. It's something we can talk about later. "I-I'm good. Thank you. I just needed reassurance. Thank you so much for everything, Daniel. See you in a few then?"

            "Sounds good."

            I lean in and give him a quick kiss on the lips before he goes. Daniel grins big and it's so bright it makes me feel fuzzy inside. Then he catches a cab and I start to jog to the subway.

          As soon as I step inside the hospital, the anxious fear comes crawling back into my stomach. I feel like throwing up the entire time I walk across the lobby. Down the familiar hallways. Until I reach the same elevator I always take. Mom's room has been changed since Madam Jin's conversation two weeks back. It feels like forever ago but it only happened recently. That I'm her—what even would I be—her granddaughter?

           I think over Madam Jin's conversation in my head as I zombie walk to Mom's room. The security recognize me and I pass by in a daze. There's a group of doctors standing outside her room, clipboards in hand as they discuss my mother in whispers. They probably just must've done whatever was needed to help her.

          When I walk up to them, their conversation stops. For some reason, I don't ask the billion questions I want to. All I can manage to say is, "Can I see her?"

            A new young doctor answers. I haven't seen her before but she seems like business with her straightforward look and serious face. Well, nobody would be happy in this situation. "Mrs. Flores is stable right now and there's someone with—well, first her conditions are—"

          "C-can I just see her for now? Or is that not okay? I'd like to talk about her conditions after I see her, if that's all right?" I say, interrupting her before she can tell me whatever terrible news she's been holding onto.

           She presses her lips together and nods, the other doctors looking wary and solemn.

         "Thank you." I don't know why but my voice is quiet and my throat begins to choke up again. She's not dead. They would tell me that. That much I know. So, there's nothing to be so sad about. Yet, anyway.

          I turn on my heel, facing the white door that I've walked through many times since she's been moved. There's a tiny window but it's blurry on purpose so there's not much you can see. Slowly, I take a deep breath in and let it out, counting in my head. 1, 2, 3. I press open the door and am surprised when I see three men in suits standing there.