Glee Shorts

Every Klaine Fic Cliche Ever In One Go...

A/N: Admittedly, this isn't actually a oneshot or a short. I wrote this as a joke on tumblr and I got a few messages saying how hilarious and accurate it was so I thought I'd share it with you lot. And hey, you guys can even use it to help in your writing! Or something like that. I don't know. I just like this. Kiddos, this is what you should not do while writing a Klaine fic.

These are all the cliches that are found in terrible Klaine fics put into one awful oneshot. 

(And the funny thing is that I'm guilty of like half of these with OLS. Which is why it's like my biggest regret ever. Gimme a break, I started that horrid thing in when I was fifteen.)

xx  

Once upon a time, Kurt was in the kitchen baking something super healthy and organic, as always, as he danced along to his Wicked playlist.    

His phone buzzed with a text! It was Mercedes. It said “hey boo do you want to hang out? I need to go shoppin with my best gay!!!" . Kurt replied with, “no cedes I can’t I’m going out with Blaine today". Mercedes replied with “oooooooh white boy you better tell me all about it". Kurt said “okay".    

And then suddenly, the doorbell rang! Kurt ran to open it and was surprised to see his best friend, Blaine Warbler there.    

"Hi, Blaine. You look so dapper today!" Kurt exclaimed, his glasz eyes lighting up. He was blushing because he liked Blaine so much. But there was no way Blaine would ever like someone like Kurt…….  

"Hi, Kurt. So I know we were going out to get our grande nonfat mochas and medium drips, but my parents aren’t home because my mom doesn’t care about me and my dad is a drunk homophobic asshole, so do you want to come over to my huge mansion with me?"  

"Oh my Gaga! That sounds fantastic. Let me just ask my dad." Kurt said, and then he called to his dad and he came over. “Can I go over to Blaine’s?"  

"Sure, kiddo. Just keep the door open! You matter!"  

"Thank you, sir," said Blaine.  

"Call me Burt, kid," Burt said.  

"Hey, little brother! Have a good time, dude!" called Finn from the other room.  

"Don’t call me dude! Also, I’m older than you!" Kurt called back.  

Kurt and Blaine left and then they were suddenly at Blaine’s house in Westerville which is like two hours away from Lima. It was really big and fancy.  

They cuddled up and watched Disney movies while snacking on RedVines, Blaine’s favorite snack.  

"Kurt, I’m going to play you a song that I wrote for you." Blaine said and he pulled out his guitar. “Baby, you’re not alone! Cuz you’re here with me!"  

That meant that Blaine loved Kurt! They were so happy. They kissed. Tongues fighting for dominance.  

"Oh Blaine, that was beautiful! You are so supermegafoxyawesomehot. I love you so much, Blaine Warbler Anderson. I love you more than Lady Gaga and cheesecake and scarves!" exclaimed the countertenor.  

"I love you, too, Kurt Elizabeth Hummel. More than I love Katy Perry and Pink and Harry Potter and Disney and bow ties and hair gel. You move me, Kurt," replied the former Warbler.  

And then Blaine and Kurt took off all their clothes and Blaine made some comment about Kurt’s layers and they had sex and it was romantic and beautiful and totally awesome.    

The end.  

A/N: Okay real quick. If you have anything that drives you insane in Klaine fics, please comment below and tell me and I'll add it in. Also, if you don't get any of these cliches, comment and I'll gladly explain. xoxo